Page 55 of Beneath Your Beautiful
“Tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had,” I said, in a teasing tone. I wasn’t teasing though. I wanted it to be like that for her because it was for me.
“I just rode you like a cowgirl. What more could you want?”
An answer.
I watched her walk across the bedroom, naked, the condom dangling from her fingers. Jesus. I rubbed my hands over my face. One night will never be enough.
“You’re the best I’ve ever had,” she called from the hallway before the bathroom door closed behind her.
With a stupid grin on my face, I got dressed.
I was putting on my boots when she sauntered into the bedroom, wearing a short, silky green robe that matched her eyes. Jealousy seized me. Did her ex-boyfriend give it to her? Did she wear it after she had sex with him? How could anyone think there was something better out there than her? I’d been with too many women to count, but they’d all left me feeling cold. Or numb. Not Eden. She made me feel too much of everything. I wrapped my hand around her wrist and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her. “Listen…about last night…”
Her phone buzzed on the bedside table. A number with no name. She stared at it, chewing on her bottom lip then reached over and pressed the silent button.
“Was that him?” I asked. My arms tightened around her as if I were a human shield, protecting her from the evil forces.
“Yeah. But I never answer.”
That surprised me. Eden wasn’t scared of confrontation, and she wasn’t the type to run and hide or stick her head in the sand. She called me out on everything and didn’t hesitate to try and set me straight or push me for answers. “Why not?”
She shrugged.
“Why don’t you answer?” I asked, really needing to know. Maybe the question was, why did he keep calling?
“What can he say to justify his actions? Nothing. And it’s not like we’d ever get back together again. I don’t know why he keeps calling. What’s the point?”
“You never talked to him after you caught them together?”
“No,” she said, chewing on her lower lip. That was her thing. She did it when she was nervous. “But I will talk to him. Eventually.”
I couldn’t blame her for not talking to him though. What could he say? The asshole never deserved her. But she might still be in love with him and that thought hit me in the gut. She’d spent five years in a committed relationship with the guy, so she must have loved him. I’d spent one night with her, and weeks before that trying to convince myself I should leave her alone. Nothing I did worked. When I closed my eyes, I saw her face. After I downed a few glasses of Jameson, I wanted to call her and hear her voice. My hand didn’t satisfy my needs. Nothing did. But now I couldn’t imagine letting her go.
“What were you going to tell me?” she asked, and it sounded like she was steeling herself for bad news. “Because I don’t want last night to be a one-night stand. I want to keep doing this. We don’t need to be in a real relationship. We can just hook up.”
“That’s what you want?”
“Yeah. That’s what I want.” But I could hear it in her voice it wasn’t what she wanted. “What do you think?”
I thought it sucked. It wasn’t nearly enough. She deserved better, and I wasn’t sure I could give it to her, but I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to be the guy who took her out to dinner, brought her flowers, and woke up with her in the morning. The thought of another guy doing that made me sick to my stomach. I’d never been jealous before, but now I was jealous of any guy who’d gone before me or any guy she might be with that wasn’t me. “I think it’s a bad idea.”
Her shoulders drooped. “Oh. Okay.”
“You’re with me. Nobody else. This wasn’t a one-night stand and we’re not just hooking up.”
“What? But you just said…” Her brows puckered. It was adorable. Everything she did was adorable. Yeah, I was fucked. “You want a relationship?”
Was that what I wanted? I couldn’t deal with the alternative. Letting her go. Taking the risk that she’d find someone else. Or hook up with random guys. No. Not happening. “Yeah, that’s what I want. You?”
She took a minute to think about it then she smiled and wrapped an arm around my neck and snuggled against my chest. “Yeah, I do. Hooking up just makes me feel kind of empty.”
This morning, I felt a lot of things. Empty wasn’t one of them. I gave her a little squeeze. “So why did you say it was what you wanted?”
“I don’t know. I just…you’re not a relationship guy.”
“You’ll have to show me how it’s done,” I said.
She turned her body towards me and looked me in the eye, her green eyes so clear and bright, searching for truth. Wanting to trust me, but not sure if she could. I knew what she was going to ask me before she said it. “I need you to promise me one thing.”
