Page 108 of Beneath Your Beautiful
“The hard way. I lost the girl. She told me I had no direction in my life and I needed to get my act together. She went off and got a teaching job. I went back to Philly and fell in with my old friends again. My old man died. Heart attack. And I thought I wouldn’t feel a damn thing. But months later, it hit me like a freight train. At the end of the day, he had still been my father. But what hit me the hardest was I was becoming just like him. So, I got my ass in gear and by some miracle, they accepted me into the Police Academy. Now, you’d think she would have welcomed me back with open arms. But no. I had to fight to win her back. That woman made me wait until I’d graduated from the academy before she finally decided I was worthy. It was the best thing she could have done for me. If she’d taken me back right away, I might never have finished what I’d started.”
He met my gaze across the table, and I knew by the look on his face I wouldn’t like what he was about to tell me. “This isn’t personal, son. I like you. And I know you love my daughter and she loves you. But you have a lot of things in your life to work through.”
“You’re telling me I need to get my shit together.”
“That’s what I’m telling you.”
“Before I’m worthy of Eden,” I said, filling in the words he’d implied.
“I’m not saying you’re not worthy. I’m saying you have a lot to deal with. And I don’t want my daughter living alone in Brooklyn. I haven’t told her yet but after the funeral, she’s coming home with me.”
My stomach twisted into knots. It didn’t sound like he was talking about a short visit. I’d known this was coming. It was what I’d been dreading since I’d called him from the ER. But still, I’d held out hope he’d prove me wrong. That, for once, the other shoe wouldn’t drop. “She won’t be happy about that.”
“You’ll need to convince her it’s for the best.”
“You’re asking me to give her up.” He wasn’t asking me, he was telling me.
“If it’s meant to be, time apart will make your love stronger.”
Time apart. I didn’t want to be without her. Not for a single fucking minute. The past three days had been hard enough on me. But that was me being selfish and not putting her needs first.
“I’m going to offer to pay for art school,” Jack said, sweetening the deal. He’d obviously given this a lot of thought, probably worked it all out on his three-hundred-mile drive to the hospital on Thursday night. “They have a good art school in Pittsburgh. She can live at home and do something she loves.”
I was tempted to beat him to the punch. Call Eden and tell her I’d buy us an apartment and pay for her tuition at Pratt Institute. She wouldn’t need to work at the bar anymore. We didn’t even need to stay in Brooklyn. We’d move to the mountains or the beach. Somewhere with a good art scene. We could live anywhere she wanted to live. But this man was her father. He was a good man who only wanted the best for his daughter. He was doing this out of love. How could I argue with that? I couldn’t. Any more than I could keep her safe when I’d promised him I would.
I nodded, my heart heavy. I wanted him to leave now, but he stayed, and he kept talking, telling me more things I didn’t want to hear.
“I’m going to get her counseling,” Jack said. “And I recommend you do the same. You’ve been through a lot. It helps to talk through it with a professional.”
I nodded again, although I had no intention of seeing a shrink.
“I’m serious,” he said. I’d been slipping lately. He’d seen the skepticism on my face. That was what happened when you bared your heart to the person you loved. I needed to start locking down my emotions again, shuttering my face so nobody could read it. “I told Sawyer the same thing. He’s gotta deal with his PTSD and so do you.”
“Okay,” I said, to make him happy. I’d rather go nine rounds with Mike Tyson with my hands tied behind my back than sit in a shrink’s office and let him analyze me.
“Good,” he said, as if it was all settled and he was satisfied with the outcome. “I’m counting on you to make this plan work. Eventually, you’ll realize this is the best thing you could do for her.”
Jack Madley was a clever man. He knew how to use the emotional artillery in his armory against me. He was appealing to Killian, the caretaker, not to the boyfriend who felt like he’d be ripping out his own beating heart to let her go. We stood, our conversation over. Jack, at least, seemed happy with the outcome. I had that feeling of numbness inside—that nothingness I used to feel before Eden came into my life.
Before he left, Jack clapped me on the shoulder. “You ever need me, call me.” I heard the sincerity in his voice. The offer was genuine, like he truly cared. “I don’t usually talk this much but I’m a pretty good listener. And you’re always welcome to visit Eden in Pennsylvania.”
Fucking perfect. I’d get tovisitEden and sleep down the hall from her. And I’d been tasked with convincing her it was for the best. How could he ask so much of me yet still act like he gave a damn about me?
“Thanks.” I tried to sound like I meant it even though I didn’t feel an ounce of gratitude.
But I needed to remember why we’d had this chat in the first place. If Eden hadn’t gotten involved with me, she wouldn’t have been in my house that night. She wouldn’t have had a gun held to her head. She wouldn’t have been knocked out, tied up, and beaten. And she wouldn’t be waking up with nightmares every night. Jack Madley wasn’t the bad guy in this scenario. That honor fell to me…and to Connor, who I still couldn’t bring myself to visit. If I went to see him right now, I might be tempted to strangle him with my own two hands.
Don’t fuck this up for me, Connor.
You act like I don’t want you to be happy.
Yeah. Why would I have ever thought that?
Chapter Forty
Killian
“Nice of you to stop by,” Jared said when he opened his apartment door, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
