Page 31 of Shooting for his Heart
“What did you say other than I’m an asshole?”
“I said that I know that you’re off limits, so it helps that you’re an asshole. Honestly, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve gotten to know you a little better. Working up close has helped me understand that your personality reflects a necessity to maintain a certain level of structure. I’m not mad at it.”
“But you still think I’m an asshole.”
She smirked. “Not an entire asshole.”
“Oh wow…”
“You’re tolerable.”
“I’ll remember that when I’m ready to return to the dating market.”
“You’re not seeing anyone?” She wondered aloud.
“I have enough on my hands with two little boys to raise. My sister seems to think otherwise. She keeps telling me I need to get back out there. I don’t feel like dating is more important than making sure those boys have what they need in life.”
“Let me ask you this, though. Do you think it’s wrong for single mothers to date?”
“Not as long as they put their children first.”
“So, why is it so wrong for you?”
“It’s different for me because I chose this life… It didn’t choose me. I made the decision to get custody of the boys. I also made the decision to be very selective about who and what I welcome into their lives.”
“So, why can’t you do that while finding someone to make you happy?”
“Who said I wasn’t happy?”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying… While you’re thinking about them, someone has to think about you.”
“That’s not important right now.”
“Your needs are always important. You’re always important, Shawn. I hope you realize that before it’s too late.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I nodded.
It was quiet for a while after Vonnie’s assertion. I had no idea how our conversation had taken such a turn, but I was thinking of a way to bring it back to the lightheartedness it had before. Instead, another matter tugged at me.
“What about you? Are you single?”
“Newly,” she said, rolling her eyes and turning to look out the window.
“Can I ask what happened?”
“I got this job. He feels like what I do is a hobby. If it were up to him, I wouldn’t work at all.”
“There are a lot of women who would love that.”
“I’m not one of them. The funny thing is, I always thought I wanted a man to take care of me. Now, I know that I want someone who supports me. I really thought he was the one because I had this list of what my perfect man would be like. He fit the bill. He was handsome, successful, and willing to commit to me. I’ve never really felt like he was cheating on me. I thought I’d hit the jackpot. It felt good to find somebody worth my time. Only to be let down by the realization that I wasn’t worth his.”
“A man that doesn’t value your time doesn’t deserve it.”
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
I had successfully made the mood even darker. Instead of trying to lighten it, I decided to sit in my feelings for a while. We were only about five minutes from our destination. Beignets could make anyone feel better. Loud cheering could be heard as I slowed to a stop sign.
“Oh my God, Shawn! Let’s get out. I have to get my beads,” Vonnie suggested as we moved past Bourbon Street.
