Page 65 of Baby Blue
“No. I can’t tell you. She has to ask you, and she’s afraid to. She’s afraid you’ll tell her no.”
“What is it?”
“No. I can’t. But just remember what I said.”
He shrugged. “Well, okay.” Turning off the light, he slid back down under the covers and pulled Anne even closer. “I’ll think about it.”
By the time he left work on Wednesday, he’d completely forgotten the conversation. Dinner was eaten, the kitchen cleaned up, and he was about to take out the trash?one of the few downsides of being the new BlueWallace?when he heard Anne whispering somewhere nearby. “Go on. Just ask him.”
“But, Mom, what if he says no? I’ll be so embarrassed!”
“Give him a chance to say no. At least that way you’ll know. If you don’t ask, you’ll always wonder.” There was more whispering, and he heard Anne say once more, “Go on. Ask him.”
He could hear her behind him, and he pretended he’d heard nothing. “Uh, Blue?”
When he spun, he found her standing there, almost wringing her hands. “Yeah?” She didn’t answer, so he asked, “What is it, sweetie?”
“Um, my school… We’re having this… Oh, never mind. You won’t want to go,” she said and tried to walk away, but Anne caught her and spun her back. There was an air of defeat surrounding her so thickly that Blue could practically see it. She closed her eyes, let out a loud sigh, and said, “Okay. There’s this father/daughter dance, it’s like back-to-school thing, and I don’t have a dad, so I know you won’t want to, and I wouldn’t blame you, and it’s stupid, and?”
“Are you asking me to go?” He waited, and she finally nodded, never looking at him. “Because I want to. It sounds like fun.” Inside his head, his brain was shrieking,Oh, holy fuck. Sixty thirteen-year-old girls, all dressed up and wearing corsages. What the hell am I going to do?
But a split-second later, something remarkable happened. Suddenly, it was like he was seeing Polly for the first time. Shewas growing up into a lovely young woman. Her hair was long and shiny, her skin was clear, and she had a beautiful smile. Yeah, she was still shaped like a stick, but that was okay. That just meant it would be longer until he had to beat up potential boyfriends, and that was fine by him. She was at that strange juncture in a girl’s life, the one in which she wasn’t a little girl anymore but she wasn’t quite a grown woman, awkward and gangly and beautiful all at the same time. “You’d go? Really? I didn’t think you’d want to.” Her eyes reddened as though she was going to cry as she stood there, waiting for him to say something else, something that would make her feel better.
“Of course! I was just talking to your mom about…” Anne shook her head.Uh-oh. Don’t mention her monthly visitor. Got it.“Um, about how you’re growing up and I need to spend more time with you. You and Toady both. This family, we all need each other, and I’m getting a late start with the two of you.”
A big tear rolled down her cheek as she finally looked up at him. “And my friend Crystal… she doesn’t have a dad either. Do you think you could be her dad for the evening too?”
“Crystal with the curly hair and braces?” Polly nodded. “Sure! She’s a cute girl. It won’t hurt me to have two daughters for the evening.”
She almost knocked him down when she darted straight into him and threw her arms around his waist, crying. Blue hugged her tightly and smiled into her hair. “I’ve never really had a dad,” she whispered hoarsely through her tears.
“Well, now you’ve got one. I’m not much of a dad, but I’m trying, Polly. I really am.”
“You’re doing a good job, Blue. You’re the best dad I’ve ever had.”
He looked up just in time to see Anne cover her face with her hands to hide her tears and for the first time, Blue got it. Their relationship had started because he’d needed them, but nowthey needed him too. A few months earlier, that idea would’ve scared him half to death.
Now it was a great source of pride for him. There were people who needed him. Hisfamilyneeded him.My family, his mind whispered, and he could feel his lower lids filling. BlueWallace, the boy who’d never had anybody, had a family, his own family, people who loved him and cared about him. It took everything he had to ask, “So when is this dance?”
“Um, tomorrow night,” Polly answered from somewhere around his midsection.
“Tomorrow night! Oh, holy shi…ucks. I guess I’d better make sure the graduation getup is clean and ready to go, huh?”
Anne’s voice was quiet, and he could tell she was trying to regain her composure. “Already done.”
Four hours later, everyone was in bed and sleeping peacefully except for Blue. As soon as he was sure they were asleep, he slipped out of bed and headed for the back door. The air was still a little cool, and he sat down on the back porch and looked up at the sky. Its darkness was vast, but the stars were bright, made all that much brighter by the black background on which they were suspended.
That’s me. Everything in my life was dark, but look how bright they are, he thought as visions of the kids’ faces drifted through his mind?Anne’s too. Out of the darkness he’d grown up in had come this light, and they’d brought it. He had a new life, one he never thought he’d have, and he wanted to grab it with both fists and never let go.
He also didn’t want to wear slacks and a tie, but for Polly and Crystal, he would. For Polly, Indie, Toady, and Anne, he’d do pretty much anything. As long as they were happy, that was all that mattered to him. Never in a million years had he ever thought he’d feel that way about anyone. He knew he felt that way about them because they felt the same about him.
And that was everything.
Blue wasout on the floor with one of the techs, looking at new diagnostic equipment the dealership had bought, when his phone rang: Anne. As soon as he’d excused himself and walked ten steps away, he answered. “Hey, babe!”
“Hey yourself. Your clothes are pressed and hanging up on the closet door. I didn’t put them in the closet because?”
“Because they’d get wrinkled.”
