Page 49 of Baby Blue
“My decision.” Anne sat back in the sofa and folded her arms across her chest. “I’m doing it and that’s that.”
“No!” He dropped onto the sofa. “No. Damn, that’s not what I want. I’ve always taken care of myself. I don’t want you taking care of me.”
“Hey.” Her hand was soft on his face as she turned it toward her. “If something happened and I lost my job, wouldn’t you do the same for me?”
“Well, yes, but?”
“Then how is this different?”
“Because at the rate I’m going, if you lost your job, we’d both be in deep shit,” he said, sighing. Her hand landed softly on his thigh and he took it in his. “None of this is right. None of it.”
“I know. But it’s just a rough patch. It’ll get better,” she said, sweeping a couple of strands of hair off his face.
Blue knew he sounded like a wounded child when he asked, “How can you be so fucking optimistic?”
She shrugged. “I dunno. I’ve just always been this way. You pace and yell. I go totally rainbow glitter and unicorn farts.” He snorted out a laugh. “But seriously, I think we complement each other well.”
He dropped his head back and put his hands over his face, then stroked them upward through his hair until they rested on top of his head. “God. How is it that the older I get, the more fucked up my life gets?”
Silence fell between them for a good five minutes. Anne was the one who broke it. “So, remember that night we talked about us?”
Eyes closed, Blue nodded. “Yeah.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
There was a long pause before Anne asked, “Did you mean anything you said to me?”
Blue’s eyes snapped open and he turned to stare at her. “I meant every damn word.”
“Then I don’t understand. You haven’t really made an attempt at even touching me again. Are you not attracted to me?” As she spoke, her lower lip trembled and Blue thought it was just about the loveliest thing he’d ever seen.
Turning and taking her hands in his, he looked straight into her eyes. “That’s going to form a bond that won’t be easy to break. And I don’t want you getting hooked up with a loser, Anne. You don’t deserve that. You deserve a wonderful guy with a good job who’ll take care of you.”
“No. I deserve to have what I want. And I want you. If you don’t want me, I’ll understand. I mean, I’m not… very pretty or… shapely. I’m kinda… plain and…” she said, halting, seemingly unable to speak. Tears had started to trail down her face, and Blue took her face in his hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.
“You’re beautiful. Don’t you know that? Even if you weren’t on the outside?which you are?you’re more than beautiful on the inside. I’ve never met anyone else like you.” He leaned over and planted a soft, gentle kiss on her forehead. “The day I met you was the luckiest day of my life. I want to be with you, but I want to be able to give you what you should have, not some broken, worn out, penniless village idiot with nothing to offer.”
But he couldn’t help himself. Leaning toward her, he captured her lips with his and pulled her to him. He knew it was wrong, but he didn’t want to stop. Her softness beckoned to him, willing him to take her, and that kind of self-controlwas something he’d never developed. His hands wandered to her waist, found their way under her scrub top, and slid up her ribcage until they cupped her breasts. She let loose a little sigh into his mouth, and he brushed his thumbs across the cups of her bra, rewarded with her back arching and her tongue brushing his lips.
His body took over in that moment and he picked her up off the sofa and carried her straight to the bedroom, their lips locked the entire trip. When he placed her gently on the bed and slipped off his tee, he watched as her eyes lit up, and he smiled. “Are you sure about this?”
Anne nodded. “Surer than I’ve ever been about anything.”
“Well, okay.” He rummaged around in the nightstand drawer. “Fuck. I put my condoms away because that social worker was coming and I don’t know where they are.”
“That’s because you didn’t hide them?I did,” Anne said and giggled. “They’re in the back of the drawer.”
Blue felt around until he found the familiar strip of prophylactics. “Aha! You knew what you were talking about,” he said with a chuckle.
She giggled again. “Yep. Wouldn’t lead you astray there. But I sure didn’t want Ms.Nosy-butt finding them.” The giggling stopped and she asked, “Last time you did this?”
“The Wednesday night before Indigo showed up.”
“What’s her name?”
Blue shrugged. “I have no idea.”
