Page 16 of Baby Blue
That baby in that basket wasn’t going to be alone and unprotected. She would never go hungry, or be cold in the winter. No one was going to beat her, or starve her, or abuse her. She was not going to be abandoned. Not on his watch. He didn’t know if he could love her, but he could damn sure do better by her than people had done by him.
When his tears had stopped, he rolled to his side and stared down at the basket. Even in the darkness, he could see her sweet little face, those chubby cheeks and that wispy hair. A firm resolve set up in his soul. All the years he’d fought and scraped his way by, being toughened by the world, had all been for this one moment. He realized in that instant that he had arrived at it?the defining moment in which BrentAlan Wallace provedthat he wasn’t that terrified little boy. He was a man, and he was going to behave like one. He didn’t know how he’d do everything he was going to have to do to take care of that child, but he’d do it or die trying.
Both their lives depended on it.
As soon asBlue and the baby were out the door, Anne fell onto the sofa. God, she was exhausted! At least Indigo was a good baby, not screaming or fussy. That made things a little easier.
She decided she’d start a load of clothes before she dropped into bed, so she headed to the laundry room and loaded the washer. In minutes, its swish-swishing rhythm filled the back of the house, and Anne wandered to the bedroom. Her robe got tossed onto the chair before she made her way into the bathroom to brush her teeth.
The reflection that greeted her in the bathroom mirror disappointed her. Even though she wasn’t all that old, she looked ten years older. She was barely thirty-five and looked every bit of forty-five, maybe more. Her straight, almost-black hair curled inward around her face, hanging just below her jawline, and its darkness made her face look harsher than it was.Maybe I should get some highlights or something, she told herself.Hell, who’s got money for that?All she could do was roll her eyes and chuckle.
By the time she got to the bed, she was barely awake. To her surprise, as soon as her head hit the pillow, her eyes opened wide and she stared at the ceiling. There was a picture in her mind, a vivid, colorful one, and she couldn’t get rid of it.
It was Blue, tall and muscled up, that shock of dark hair falling over one eye and that caramel-colored skin showing off every ridge in those abs. But those eyes… They hit her right in her solar plexus and almost doubled her over. Talk about beautiful. Yeah, his hands were grease-stained and he could use a shave, but otherwise, he was just about the most gorgeous thing she’d ever seen, in a coarse, raw way. Yeah, the hair and the jawline scruff dated him, but he was in a cover band playing eighties tunes, so it sort of fit the persona, and no matter what anyone said, a lot of women still liked long hair on men. It made him look a combination of sensitive and wild. That just added to his sexy mystique, if she could call it that. And she was pretty sure he knew all of that. Oddly, he didn’t come across that way, though. He seemed so…
Uncertain. So lacking in confidence. So shaky and a little fragile. Oh, she was pretty sure he was a rounder and that he could deliver an ass-whupping like nobody’s business, but she got the distinct impression that wasn’t really him. He’d been a foster child, so he’d spent years trying to defend himself against god only knew what. And that was it?that was when she realized what she saw when she looked into his eyes.
Inside all that machismo was a wounded little boy. BlueWallace was still that hurting, unloved child, wondering if the next person he saw was going to kiss him or kick him. He’d seemed surprised that she’d want to do anything to help him, and that made sense. No one had ever helped him. He’d always had to scratch and scrape by on his own. No wonder he was so adamant that he’d take care of that baby. He didn’t want her to wind up like him.
For all his gruffness, for all his chaos, and for all his sourness, there was a sweet, kind side to Blue, a nurturing and giving side. She wanted to get to know that side better.
Truth was, as she lay there alone in the dark, she wondered if she’d like to get to know a lot more about him and for the first time in a long time, she touched herself, wondering what it would be like to be with someone like Blue. No, not someone like Blue?what it would be like to be with Blue.Stop it, Anne! Have you lost your mind?her brain shrieked, but she knew she hadn’t. There was something about BlueWallace that tugged at her heartstrings. Could he ever really love anyone?
And most importantly, could he ever love her? She was pretty sure she knew the answer to that one.
Indigo’s fussingwoke Blue at about five o’clock, and he managed to stumble to the kitchen and grab a bottle. After he’d fed her, he changed her diaper. To his surprise, it was easier that time than it had been before.Maybe I’m getting the hang of it after all!he told himself as he looked down at the squirming baby. But in seconds, she calmed, and once he got her settled back into her basket, he slipped under the covers again.
He woke at a little after nine to a silent house, and his heart seized.Oh my god, is she dead?his brain shrieked and he shot upright, then leaned over to stare into the basket.
Indigo lay there in its oval confines, gazing around and not making a sound. When her eyes caught the movement above her, she turned her head and stared up at Blue. “Hey, baby! Um, Indigo. I have to call you by your name,” he mumbled, still half asleep. “Good morning, Indigo. You hungry?” At the sound of his voice, she made a couple of funny little noises and waved one hand around. “I think that means yes. Let’s see if you’re wet.” He checked her diaper. Yep?soaked. “I’m getting kind of goodat this,” he told her as he spread everything out on the bed and changed her diaper, being careful to clean every crease and fold. Strangely enough, it didn’t feel so weird anymore, and she was more cooperative than she’d been earlier too. “Okay, we’ll get you some breakfast,” he said, knowing she didn’t understand but feeling the need to explain everything he was doing. That was good, wasn’t it? He wasn’t sure, but he decided he’d keep it up. Talking to her would help her learn to communicate, or at least it seemed like it would work that way. If nothing else, it offered him the idea that he was actually doing something right.
When he’d fed her, he got a pot of coffee made, then took basket, baby and all, into the bathroom while he showered. When he stepped out, soaking wet, it worried him that he was standing there naked in front of her. Then he realized she’d never remember anyway, thank god, and he tried to relax a bit.
He’d no more than gotten his pants on when there was a knock at the door, and he realized he hadn’t unlocked it yet. When he pulled it open, Anne stood there. “Hey! Good morning!” he chirped, and she looked startled.
“You guys make it okay last night?” she asked, still standing there.
“Yeah. Surprising, huh?” Blue asked with a grin.
She tried to sound stern, but a little grin popped out on her face when she answered, “A little.”
“Come on in,” Blue said and swept his arm inward. As Anne stepped inside, he said, “She woke up around five, but I fed her and she went right back to sleep. When I woke up at nine, she hadn’t made a sound and she scared me. I thought she’d died in the night!”
Anne chuckled. “Yeah, first time Polly slept through the night the same thing happened to me. But she was just lying in her bed, smiling up at me,” she said.
“Exact same thing here. Oh, and I think the diaper stuff is getting easier. I managed to do it while I was half asleep at the five o’clock thing and it actually stayed on until she got up a little while ago,” Blue told her, proud of himself.
“That’s great!” Anne said, beaming. For some reason, her approval made Blue feel very, very good about himself. “I knew you’d learn. So I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Blue nodded. “Shoot.”
“So I was thinking… I go to work at about three fifteen this afternoon. I get off about eleven thirty tonight. What time do you have to be at work?”
“Shop opens at eight. I usually try to be there at seven forty-five.”
“What if you bring her over in the morning before you go to work? And she can stay with me all day while you’re at work. Polly and Toady will get home about three. She can stay with them until you get off work. Do you think that would work out?” Anne asked.
All he could manage to squeeze out was, “Why?”
