Page 69 of My Sweetest Agony
Because this is something I can’t lie to myself about.
Not anymore.
I never thought anything would occupy my head or heart as much as how much I miss Drew, but somehow, what happened with Cam has taken up residence in both places. The two men have become twisted together, inexplicably entwined so tightly that I don’t know that they’ll ever come apart.
The irony of that isn’t lost on me.
Nor is the absolute absurdity of thinking this could ever end well with Cam.
What we did…
It can’t happen again.
It can’t be what I think about at night, lying alone in my bed.
My body can’t heat each time I remember how charged and frenetic it became or how wholly mind-bending my release was?—
“Your cheeks are pink, girl.”
Shit.
I turn away from Trina, willing away the evidence that I—yet again—fell down the rabbit hole of memories. “Did Marlo send you over here to talk to me?”
Trina huffs. “Why would she have to do that? She’s your best friend. You would talk to her if you had something to say, right?”
The accusatory tone in her voice makes me bristle.
But her point has been well made.
Which she knows, given the smug half-grin on her face.
I give her a pointed look. “True, so…off you go.”
She laughs as she walks away, back toward a cluster of customers she should have been assisting instead of giving me the third degree, which has left me more rattled than I care to admit.
My hands shake as I sort through the order slips, the names and details blurring together so badly that I can’t even process them anymore.
Hell.
For all my intent to keep what happened between Cam and me a secret, it’s eating me alive not being able to talk to someone about it. And when it comes down to it, no matter how much of a smartass or over-stepper she can be, Marlo has always been my sounding board where major life decisions are concerned.
And how I choose to address the Camden issue is a major life decision.
That man was supposed to be my brother-in-law. He was supposed to be family. If I fucked that up, if I fucked it up with Nancy by giving in to…whatever it was that made me kiss him that night. I don’t think I could live with that.
That means I can’t ignore Marlo—or it—anymore.
Swallowing my pride, I stalk across the store, headed directly toward Marlo, where she leans against the wall, apparently waiting for me.
With her arms crossed over her chest, she eyes me from my hair piled in a bun high on my head over my face, my smock, and down to my Chuck Taylors on my feet. “Finally going to acknowledge I’m here, huh?”
“Will you knock it off?” I cast a quick peek over my shoulder at Trina, who is busy with customers. “Enlisting that old woman to help you…”
Marlo cracks a smile and chuckles. “Trina is not some innocent bystander who got roped into a secret mission. She was perfectly willing to try to find out why you’ve been avoiding me.”
“I haven’t been.”
She snorts. “Bullshit. You’ve barely said two words to me in three days, and while I’m used to you being quiet and sometimes short with me lately, this is something else, so spill.”
