Page 96 of Conquered
“We need you so badly, Lilly,” he whispers, leaning in and kissing my forehead so tenderly that fresh tears spring to my eyes, before turning around and leaving the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Iget dressed in my favourite sailor blue Lucy & Yak corduroy dungarees, called overalls in the U.S. apparently. I've paired them with a red and white striped t-shirt, an oversized red knitted jumper, or sweater I should say, and my blue and red plaid Irregular Choice heeled boots. I hoped that the outfitwould make me feel better, giving me some strength to face the day. Instead, I’m left feeling unbearably empty.
I go downstairs to find my bags being loaded into the car by Loki himself. The others are nowhere in sight.
Deep breaths, Lilly. Deep fucking breaths.
He looks up as I come out of the house, and the despair in his beautiful emerald eyes utterly destroys me. My already bleeding heart cracks even more, my breath hitching and stuttering in my chest.
“Loki…” I gasp, but I have no idea what I'm going to say next.
His eyes shutter, becoming hard and cutting, and a painful lump forms in my throat.
“Are you ready to leave?” he asks, jaw clenched and voice cold, missing all its usual warmth and colour, until it's become dull and lifeless.
I bob my head, afraid that I'll break down if I speak a single word. He looks away, walking around to the driver’s door, opening it and getting in, leaving me to sort myself out.
Taking another deep inhale, I walk down the stone steps, but don't get far before I hear a girlish shout behind me.
“Lilly, wait!” Heather calls out. I turn around to see both girls running towards me, hair flying behind them.
Seconds later, they collide into me with an oomph, wrapping me in a tight hug and it feels so good to be held that my eyes moisten.
“We're gonna miss you,” Julie says, a slight whine in her voice as both girls pull back and I quickly choke back tears.
“Promise you'll come back soon?” Heather asks with such an earnest look on her face that I couldn't refuse her, even if I wanted to. Which I'm not sure I do.
“Of course,” I manage to get out around the lump in my throat that's grown even bigger. “I'll see you both soon.”
“Promise?” Julie asks, eyes hopeful.
“Pinky promise,” I say, remembering when Mum used to say the same to me. Pinky promises were sacred, not to be broken.
They both beam as we hear the window wind down.
“Girls, we've got to get back,” Loki's hard voice says, and both girls roll their eyes at him.
“He woke up grumpy and has been like a bear all morning,” Heather says, giggling.
I kiss the top of both their heads and disentangle their arms just as Clarissa comes to the door.
“Girls!” she calls, not even bothering to look at me.
They roll their eyes again, the sassy minxes, then step away, waving as I get in the car. Loki starts the engine and then speeds off in a shower of gravel.
“Your sisters are lovely,” I say, glancing at him from the corner of my eye, my heart beating so fast I’m afraid it’ll burst out of my chest.
It’s agony sitting so close to him, yet it’s like a huge chasm lies between us. I can see he has a death grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles white, and his forearms corded.
Even in anger, he's so fucking beautiful it takes my breath away. And then I remember what he's done, the blood he's spilt, and I feel sick, glad I didn't eat any breakfast.
He says nothing, doesn't even acknowledge that I've spoken, just clenches his jaw so tightly that I'm surprised his teeth don't crack.
We stay that way for the rest of the drive, sitting in complete silence, my heart hurting so much I can barely suppress the tears that threaten to fall.
LOKI
I watch, my chest heaving, as the light leaves his chocolate eyes, a dribble of dark burgundy oozing between them. Smoke from the barrel of my gun rises up and obscures the sight of his broken body, adding to the feeling of a soul rising to the heavens. Of a soul finally being at peace. A peace I’m beginning to ache for.
