Page 341 of Conquered
“Fuck, Baby Girl, you should be resting,” I scold, trying to direct her to my chair, but she resists.
“Jax, I just spent the past few hours sitting in a car, feeling like my fanny was going to fall out every time we hit a bump, I really don’t want to sit down right now.”
I wince at her description, my respect for this woman increasing tenfold when I think about her having to give birth without us, or without full medical attention.
“But you’re okay? Nothing went wrong?” I can’t help but ask, pulling her closer as my heart beats wildly at the thought of her pain.
“I’m fine, fucking exhausted, but fine,” she tells me, her arms wrapping along the length of mine. “More to the point, Loki, how are you and why the fuck did you get yourself shot?”
“It wasn’t a choice, Pretty Girl,” Loki murmurs back, not taking his eyes off Violet. “But I think I’m okay.”
“He’ll be fully recovered in a few weeks with some physical therapy,” Ash answers softly, coming round the bed to draw Lilly into his arms and out of mine.
As much as I don’t want to, I let her go and watch with a warm feeling in my chest when she nuzzles into him and he kisses the top of her head.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Princess,” he says, pulling away slightly to look into her eyes. “You are incredible.”
Violet makes a little squeak then, and Lilly steps away from Ash, taking her from Loki, planting a quick kiss on his cheek, and then turning around to face us. She steps close to me, holding her arms out, and automatically, I take Violet from her, feeling a little awkward with this tiny bundle in my huge arms. She looks so small and breakable, but Lilly helps me to support her head, then steps back to give Kai a hug.
I look down, Violet’s eyes closed, yet when I bring my finger up to her hand, her fingers grasp onto mine with a tight grip.
“She’s strong, just like her mother,” I marvel, my throat tight as I look up into Lilly’s tired gaze, her lashes damp with tears but her smile wide. “Perfect like her too.”
“I’m sorry you weren’t there, to help with her birth I mean,” Lilly says, her mouth downturned, Kai’s arms wrapped around her from behind like mine were moments before.
“I’m sorry too,” I say, and fuck, I hate that we weren’t there when she needed us. One look at my brothers and I know they’re feeling the same.
“D–did it all go to plan?” she questions, looking at each of us, settling on Loki last. “Well, apart from Loki getting shot.”
“Yeah,” Ash answers, taking a step towards me and brushing Violet’s hair back, placing a soft kiss on her tiny head. “Everything else went to plan, and Chad and my father are in police custody.”
Reluctantly, I hold Violet out for him to take, and he reaches for her with a gentleness that surprises me. None of us are soft men. We are hard and full of scars, our bodies built to hurt and take life, not to nurture it, but maybe we could be something more than what we were raised to be.
Ash kisses Violet’s head again before turning and handing her back to Lilly when she starts to fuss, Kai’s arms coming round both of them as we all stare at the miracle of new life before us.
Yeah, we are definitely more than what our fathers trained us to be. Life is not black or white, but a mixture of greys, and looking down at my brothers and our woman and newborn daughter, I know that they will help us to become what we were always meant to be.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
LILLY
The next few weeks pass by in what can only be described as a hazy bubble of life with a newborn. The lack of sleep would be crippling if it weren’t for my guys taking turns rocking and holding Violet so that I can get some much-needed rest.
Violet takes to the breast in a big way, Mai exclaiming how well she’s doing when she comes to check us both over, assuring me that Violet spending hours at a time feeding is normal to start with as she encourages my milk to come in. When I’m still not convinced, she points out the full nappy bin—Kai had organised getting cloth nappies, citing that not only is it better for the environment, but also for Violet. When my milk does come in, my boobs become what Mai calls ‘porn star breasts,’ aka huge as fuck.
The guys, obviously, think that they’re great, Loki lamenting that Violet is the only one currently enjoying them, perving on my feeding sessions until Jax smacks him upside the head for sexualising something which is completely natural andbeautiful. Loki sheepishly apologies, telling me it was only my breasts he’d ever accost, making me laugh, then cry because, well, hormones are still a thing.
We recover in Ash’s woodland house as I like to call it, and being surrounded by the forest in the late summer is perfect, the trees providing coolness to what might be oppressive heat. Kai takes Violet and I on walks in the late afternoon, carrying Violet in a stretchy baby wrap that he watched many YouTube videos to learn how to tie correctly. There’s something about him carrying her that makes me all hot and bothered, and I look forward to our daily walks more because of it.
The date of Julian’s and Chad’s trials fast approaches, and the night before I find myself waking up, Jax asleep on one side and Violet on the other. We put a wooden bedside guard on the bed, making sure that whichever side Violet is on, she can’t fall out. Sleeping with her in the bed, and feeding her lying down has saved my sanity because I often fall asleep with her happily sucking away, and sleep is precious at the moment.
Carefully getting out of the bed, I pop to the bathroom down the hall, not wanting to use the en-suite in case it wakes Violet up. As I leave the room, I hear the faint sound of a piano being played, a smile tilting my lips upward. I make my way down the corridor, pushing open the door to Ash’s music room to find Ash shirtless at the piano, Loki sitting not far away with his guitar on his lap. He’s also in a state of undress, wearing just sweatpants, his sling having been discarded even though he should still be wearing it. Men.
Jesus H Roosevelt Christ, how is a girl meant to function when they walk around topless?
Ash finishes up the song he was playing, an instrumental version of7 Years, just as Loki looks up and catches my eye, giving me a panty-melting grin.
“My turn to play for you, Pretty Girl,” he tells me, and I remember back to the first night in the cabin when Ash called me from this very room and sang to me for the first time. “Why don’t you hop up onto the piano there, let Ash take care of you for a bit.”
