“Pleased to meet you, Jen,” I smile back, butterflies taking flight in my stomach now that I’m here, surrounded by a sea of white and cream lace. “This is my friend and chief bridesmaid Willow.” I indicate Willow, who looks in shock back at me.
“I am?” she asks, her wide eyes a little misty.
“Of course, if you want to be, that is?” I ask, a little hesitantly.
“Abso-fucking-lutely!” she squeals, throwing her arms around me. She pulls away after a quick hug, wincing and looking over at Jen. “Sorry, mum always said I have a sailor’s mouth.”
Jen just laughs, holding her hand out towards a younger girl, who steps forward with a tray. On it sit two flutes of bubbling champagne.
“I’ve heard worse,” she chuckles. “Champagne? Our secret,” she says with a wink.
“Oh, um, I can’t, because, um, I’m pregnant,” I stutter out, her face showing no shock or judgement. A breath of relief whooshes out of me.
“Amelie, something soft for Lilly, please,” she asks the younger girl, who smiles, letting Willow take a glass before heading to the back of the shop, disappearing through a door. Jen looks back at me. “So, do you have any ideas of what you’d like?”
“Well, not really, no,” I chuckle, feeling another blush steal over my cheeks.
“That’s absolutely fine,” she says, guiding us towards a rail of dresses. “Let’s start here, at the empire line ones, which will be easier for you in your condition.”
She starts pulling out the most beautiful dresses I’ve ever seen. Lace, tulle, sparkling crystals and beads, all in shades of white, cream, and champagne, a few even in light gold andblonde. She tells us that she designs them all, and with the help of a series of seamstresses, sews them in the workroom at the back of the shop.
But gorgeous as they are, none feel quite me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, sitting down on a plush grey velvet love seat next to Willow. “They’re just not…”
“You. I know. And no need to apologise,” Jen reassures me with a smile, looking me over and no doubt noticing my rainbow patterned Run and Fly dungarees. Not exactly subtle and elegant. “I wonder…Amelie,” she calls, and the younger girl comes out from the back. “Bring the dress you’ve been working on, please.”
“W-what?” Amelie asks, her eyes wide. “Really?”
“Yes, please,” Jen replies, smiling kindly at her, and I admit, I like this woman. Amelie turns around, heading out the back.
She returns a few moments later, and I sit up straighter, my heart thudding as I see the spill of colour across her arm. Standing in front of me, she lets the hem drop to the floor, and I gasp, completely lost for words.
It’s an empire line, like the others, with an off white beaded lace covering the shoulders, coming down to cover the bust part as well. My eyes travel down the fall of plain soft white chiffon, that starts just under the bust and ends in a train at the back, the hem decorated with a matching beaded, lace pattern as that of the top.
But the thing that makes this particular dress perfection is that it appears to have been dipped into a sunset, the colours bleeding up the skirt, finishing probably around knee height. It starts as a deep indigo at the hem, turning into violet, then purple, magenta, pink, red, orange and finally, a deep yellow.
“I think, by that look, we’ve found your dress,” Jen says softly, and I tear my eyes away, moisture filling them as I look at her. I swallow hard.
“It’s perfect,” I whisper, my gaze drawn back to it, loving how the colours shift and change tone as the light falls across it.
“Let’s try it on then, although, I suggest we leave any alterations until closer to the time to account for your changing shape,” she tells me, ushering me into a changing room and hanging the dress on a hook by its wooden hanger.
Stripping quickly, I reach out, feeling the softness of the material before slipping it over my head. It falls around me like a cloud, as I can’t tear my gaze away from my reflection in the mirror, even if the dress isn’t yet done up.
I look like a bride.
It hits me then, really hits me, that I am getting married. That I’m having another man’s baby, the best friend of my groom to be. What a mess. But looking into the mirror, at the bride that I will be, it suddenly feels so real.
“Are you ready, Lilly?” Jen’s soft voice calls on the other side of the curtain.
“Yes,” I reply, taking a final look at the woman standing in the mirror before me.
Ready as I'll ever be.
After wowing Willow and Jen at the dress shop, both declaring that the dress was perfect and ‘the one’, Willow and I head to the tea rooms for a late lunch. Luckily, my sickness seems to be abating somewhat, so I’m able to eat a delicious cream tea, with finger sandwiches and mini cakes.
We head back to Highgate, deciding to spend the rest of the weekend watching Netflix and chilling. Kai and Loki join us, Jax appearing some time later, sweaty and delicious looking from a workout. After showering, he joins us, too, lifting me up andsitting back down, then placing me on his lap and pulling one of the blankets over us.