“And if I refuse?” I ask, looking up into the eyes of a wolf, the devil himself, Julian Vanderbilt. He smiles his demon grin, all straight teeth and black lies.
“Then Ash may find himself a widower not long after his wedding day,” he casually throws out, eyes hungry for any reaction I show.
However, I’ve learnt their lessons well, my cool façade not cracking as I stare right back at him. Inside is a different story, my heart rips apart, knowing that with what I must do to keep her safe, I will break her apart, too.
“And anyway, it’s not such a bad deal, son,” my cuntstain of a dad pipes in, and I turn to glare at him, showing exactly what I think of him. I smirk when he swallows hard. Good. Let him be scared of me.
I don’t bother to reply, turning back to the master puppeteer himself, and giving a brief nod, I seal my fate.
Forgive me, Pretty Girl.
LILLY
The next few weeks pass by, tension rife within all of us. When we got back the night after dinner at the Vanderbilt’s, Ash, Jax, Kai, and I sat down and talked the whole thing over. Turns out that Ash had found out mere moments before we arrived, Kai, too.
But as Ash pointed out more than once, he had no choice. Julian and the others, bar Jax’s mum, are all monsters with pitch-black souls. If Ash had refused to propose, they were going to dispose of me just like Julian had told me at dinner, whispering death threats in my ear like sweet nothings.
Jax relented with a growl, then threw me over his shoulder like the caveman that he is and took delight in making me scream his name over, and over, and over again whilst the Vanderbilt ring sat twinkling on my finger.Fucking brute.
Loki didn’t join us in the night as he usually does, and hasn’t since, although Jax and Ash have been keeping me more than occupied at night. In fact, I’ve barely seen Loki since the dinner, and a dark premonition fills my stomach. I know there is something going on. I know that it isn’t good, and the feeling leaves me sick to my stomach constantly, and off my food with worry.
It doesn’t help that Kai is also a little absent and looks exhausted, dark circles ringing his eyes, lines marring his forehead. Seems that his darkness has returned since that night, too.
Things feel like they’re spiralling out of control, and I’m helpless to stop it.
It’s the day before Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be Loki’s birthday—I know, irony knows no bounds—and I’mwalking down the hall with Willow, heading to our yoga class. She’s chattering away about some guy she’s interested in, and I’m trying to listen, I really am, but sickness swirls in my stomach, making it hard to concentrate. It was so bad this morning that I couldn’t face breakfast.
“Lilly?” Willow’s sweet voice penetrates my thoughts. “Are you okay?”
I turn to face her, concern in her blue eyes as she takes me in. I’m obviously looking like shit, my face was especially pale in the mirror this morning as I was getting ready for the day.
“I’m just feeling a bit queasy. I have been since dinner at Ash’s parents.”
She, like everyone, knows about mine and Ash’s engagement. However, unlike everyone else, she knows that it was forced by his parents. I gave her some bullshit about them finding out about us being together, so being kind of old-fashioned they expedited things and forced the proposal. I don’t think she believed me, but being the beautiful human that she is, she didn’t question it.
She doesn’t know about the death threats, my standing in Black Knight Corp., or what the guys do. I’m almost certain that she suspects something is up, not wholly believing my excuses for not being over the moon about being engaged to Ash. And given her background, and her brother’s involvement in running The Shadows—a notorious postcode gang in West London that even I’ve heard of—I think she would get it and not be surprised. She’s not gone into details, as I haven’t with her, but she’s seen the darkness that lives in this world. Experienced it firsthand. It’s in the haunted look in her blue eyes, and the slight tremble in her hands when she recalls vague stories from the past.
“Lilly, now, don’t get pissed, but you’ve been feeling sick so much recently. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” she asks, looking at me sideways as we continue to walk.
I stop dead in my tracks, as does she, a sinking niggle in my stomach.
“I can’t be. I mean, there was a mess-up at Christmas, but I took the morning after pill a few days later…” I trail off, remembering what Kai had said about how it loses its effectiveness the longer you leave it.
“So there is a possibility?” she hedges, turning to face me full-on, lowering her voice as she quickly glances around. “When was your last period?”
My eyes flitter side to side as I try to recall the last time Aunty Flo came to visit.
“I–I don’t think I’ve had one since before Christmas,” I tell her, latching onto blue eyes full of sympathy.
“I’m popping into town later, so I’ll grab you a test. Then you’ll know for sure either way.” She reaches out, taking my suddenly cold hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.
I nod in thanks, swallowing thickly as we continue walking down the hallway.
Shit, what if it’s positive? What will I do then? Fuck!
Thoughts tumble in my mind until I feel queasier than ever, swallowing down bile as we approach a group of students standing around outside of the gym building. My eyes roll as I hear Amber Cuntmuffin’s nasally voice.
“I think a June wedding would be perfect, don't you?”