Page 106 of Conquered
How could I have forgotten how beautiful he is?
Loki helps me climb down, my legs still shaking from that orgasm.
Jax grabs my hand when I reach him, pulling me into his embrace and holding me tight. I nuzzle into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. I'm instantly calmer, my body and mind knowing that I'm safe, that nothing can hurt me whilst I'm in his arms.
“I'm so sorry, Jax,” I say softly into his neck. “I'm so sorry for running away. For judging you.”
Fresh tears sting my eyes, tears that have nothing to do with what happened in the library, and everything to do with almost losing these guys.
“I was wrong, Jax. So wrong, and I shouldn't have run. When I came through the door tonight,” his arms tighten around me, “and I saw you standing there, I knew instinctively that you would keep me safe. That nothing could hurt me, as long as I was with you. All of you,” I add, opening my eyes and looking into Loki's emerald ones as he makes his way over to us, stepping into the shower.
Leaning back, I look up into Jax’s face. My arms are still wrapped around him, and I meet those piercing eyes of his. The blue is swirling and churning with a myriad of intense emotions. I reach out to cup his bearded cheek.
“Jax, you are my home, where I belong and where I'm safe. The thought of losing you, any of you...I'm not sure I would survive it.”
His hands tighten where they're now resting on my hips. I can see him swallowing, and when he talks, his voice is thick with emotion.
“You're ours, Lilly,” he says simply. I feel a warmth at my back when Loki steps up to me, his hands coming to my waist.
“We're right here, and we're not going anywhere. None of us,” Loki says into my ear, his voice serious. “Lilly, we need you. We need your light to temper our darkness and make us believe we're worthy. That we're not completely bad. That we're not just monsters.”
“Loki…” I reach a hand back around his neck and pull him closer. “You've done bad things, do bad things because you have to. And I don't care if you're monsters, as long as you'remymonsters.”
“We're yours,” Jax rumbles out, fingers pressing hard into my soft flesh.
“You're ours,” Loki purrs behind me. I can feel them both hard again, pressed into my stomach and lower back. “Let's clean you up,” he says softly, placing a gentle kiss on my shoulder.
I need these guys, and no matter what they've done or what they’ll do, they're good guys.
Who of us isn't a little bit of a monster too?
We gently untangle ourselves, then Loki and Jax wash me so tenderly, so reverently, that fresh tears spring to my eyes. They wrap me up in a huge, fluffy towel, shepherding me out of the bathroom, where we see Ash and Kai sitting on the sofa, who look up as we exit.
Ash gets up and walks towards us, then stops short in front of me. He looks torn, torment churning in his grey eyes. Before he can say a word, I step forward and wrap my arms around his waist, nuzzling my nose into his neck and taking a deep breath in.
His spicy ginger scent floods my senses as he hesitates for a beat, then wraps his own arms tightly around me. I can hear his heart pounding in his chest, and his body is shaking all over.
“I'm so sorry, Ash,” I whisper, feeling him stiffen in my arms. “I was wrong that night, and I just got scared and ran. But I shouldn't have.” I can feel more tears stinging my eyes again. Crying is all I seem to do tonight.
He pulls back to look into my eyes, his own full of a thousand emotions.
“This life is so fucked up, Lilly, it's not safe, and now we've dragged you into it too,” he replies. He looks desolate and full of guilt, his jaw tight. “We should have stayed away from you. We shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place.” He hangs his head, and my heart stutters.
Does he regret being with me?
Taking a deep breath, he looks back up at me. One hand cups the side of my face, his thumb gently caressing my cheek.
“I'm sorry, Princess,” he murmurs, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine in a bittersweet kiss before stepping out of my arms, turning his back on me, and walking away.
I feel sick and numb, my heart so sore I'm surprised it's still beating. I hear Loki, Jax, and Kai in the background arguing, but all I can do is watch as Ash walks out the door.
A sob escapes me, my hand covering my lips when Kai steps in front of me, his hands capturing my face.
“Hey, Lilly, he just needs time,” he says gently, and I look into his eyes. “He's hurting and feels like he's failed you tonight.”
“Kai, I've lost him.” My voice is small and lost. Fresh tears track down my cheeks, which Kai brushes away with his thumbs.
“Not forever,” he says back, pulling me into his embrace, holding me whilst I gently cry into his chest, my tears wetting his t-shirt. His hands are soothing down my back, and his lips place gentle kisses on my head until a wave of exhaustion washes over me.
