Page 108 of Conquered
More fool us.
I tidy the bits and pieces of first aid that Jax got out to tend to her wounds. I have to pause and focus on my breath several times, as the black once again threatens to consume me.
Once I'm back under control, I go to make some Bi Luo Chun tea. I find the ritual calming; heating the water to exactlytwo hundred and five degrees, measuring out the leaves into the warmed gaiwan, leaving the leaves to steep, then pouring the tea into the saucer.
I breathe out a sigh as the first slightly bitter sip enters my mouth, calming me instantly. Going to sit on the couch, I pick up my discarded iPad with my free hand, opening a new window on my dark web browser.
I won't take part in whatever harm we cause Robert physically. If I'm let loose on him, there would be bits of him all over the floor while his heart still beats, his blood bathing me in delicious crimson. My dick twitches at the thought of Lilly, naked and also covered in his blood, her hands bound as I pound into her.
Time for that in the future.We will have the rest of our lives to make it up to her, I think as I begin to systematically destroy Robert's life, one click at a time.
ASH
Once I'm outside in the crisp night air, I place my earbuds in, selectingSuffocateby Nathan Wagner to play. It suits my dark mood.
I fucked up.
We all did, but I messed up the worst. I'm meant to protect them, and along the way, Lilly became part of those included on that list. But I let her down. I wasn't there when it mattered, and it feels like a fucking knife has gone through my gut, cutting my insides to shreds.
Like my father, I'm the leader, the alpha, the top dog. But unlike that cunt, I actually give a shit about the people under mycare. Those guys, and now it seems Lilly, are like family to me. More so because I fucking chose them, over a father who's an evil son of a bitch, and a mother too doped up on tranquillizers to notice a fucking thing.
The song plays on, reminding me how badly I messed up.
My mind flashes back to when she burst through the door, broken, bleeding, and terrified. My hands clench at the thought of that cumstain laying his hands on her. Trying to take something that doesn't fucking belong to him.
A menacing growl escapes my lips when I think of how close he came.
How dare he even look in her direction! Let alone touch her. White hot rage fills me up until every atom of my being is burning with the need for violence. For vengeance.
Jax is right. Robert is a dead man walking, and his days are fucking numbered. We're coming for that asshole, and he'll be so broken by the time we're done, there won't be enough pieces to put him back together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
LILLY
For the next seven days, I stay in our dorm, with at least one of the guys with me at all times. Well, except Ash, who seems to be avoiding me like the plague.
The other three take care of me so tenderly, my heart repairs a little more each day. Kai makes me all my favourite foods, like chicken ramen and triple chocolate brownies, and I get breakfast in bed every morning.
Loki runs me epic bubble baths, often joining me in them, and although we make out, I’m the only one who ever comes.
We've not gone further than kissing, or them eating me out like I’m their last meal, since the night of the attack. I want to feel them inside me so badly, to feel that connection, but I just can't. Any time we’ve tried, I get horrendous flashbacks or start to panic. And they're so sweet about it, saying it's all about my pleasure, and taking care of me.
Jax makes it his mission to show me some basic self-defence moves, often ending with me pinning him down, or with my legswrapped around him. I can feel him getting hard, but like Loki, he keeps it strictly about me and my release.
Some sessions, certain positions cause horrible flashbacks to that night. But Jax helps me through the panic, with soothing words and his comforting embrace, holding me until the tremors subside and my breathing evens out.
Every night, Loki and Jax leave me exhausted in bed with multiple mindless orgasms before falling asleep on either side of me, wrapping me up in their arms. They hold me when I wake up screaming, nightmares now featuring clammy hands, alongside the visions of drowning in a sea of blood.
The bruise on my jaw begins to fade from the deep purple of a plum to a rather sickly yellow, which I suppose is better, as I can now hide it with makeup.
It's October thirty-first, All Hallows' Eve, and my first day back to class. I'd told my teachers that I was sick with a stomach bug, not wanting everyone to see the marks that were painted on my face and body.
As I get dressed, I look over to the burgundy dress bag that's hanging on the front of Loki's closet. It's the school Halloween party tonight, which is being held in the ballroom.
I know, right?! What fucking school has a ballroom? Pretentious twats.
I'm not sure what the guys are dressing up as, but I have a killer dress that I bought a while back. I can't wait to show them and have a night to let my hair down after everything that has happened recently.
