Page 142 of Beat of Love
Her voice softened. “Then help me understand.”
His gut roiled as he spoke. “I’m weak, Red. Weak. A coward.Then. And still am now.”
The confession tore out of him, leaving him empty and … well, weak.
Spent of all emotion. All feeling.
“No, no. No. Raff, sugar, you’re one of the strongest men I know.”
“Strong?” Rafferty’s hollow laugh mirrored his feelings. Worthless. Inadequate. There weren’t enough adjectives to describe his hopeless state of mind.
Yesterday had taught him a hard lesson — he’d never conquer his past.Never. “You are so wrong.”
“Rafferty Lawson!Ugh. If I were there, I’d slap you upside the head.”
He imagined Brandy-Lyn stamping her foot, a flush reddening her face, anger flashing in her sharp eyes. The vivid picture almost brought a smile to his lips. Almost. He straightened and stared blindly at the sparkling water. “I know you mean good, but—”
“No buts. Now, you listen to me,” she continued, “and listen well because I want you to internalize this — you are brave and strong. A survivor. A warrior.”
“Warrior?” He snorted. “Red, I fell apart just seeing aphotoof her.”
“It was the shock.”
“No. It showed how broken I am.”
She chuffed an exasperated laugh. “Do you have magical powers? Other than the eerie twin thingy with Sullivan?”
“No.”
“Hah! Then that means you are human. Just like the rest of us. Cut yourself some slack, Rafferty.”
This time, a short laugh did escape. “I wish you were here.” The words burst from him, unbidden, but true.
“Me, too,” she whispered. “The ranch feels … empty without you.”
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Stas — one of his fucking babysitters who’d flown in from Texas during a break in the storm yesterday evening — gesture from the edge of the park. Hannigan had arrived. “I need to go, Red.”
“Okay. Take care of yourself, sugar. And … come home. To me.”
The last two words were barely audible.
But he caught them.
And held them close to his heart.
I love you, he whispered in his head.
Love you, too, she whispered back.
But of course that was just his over-fertile imagination.
Today was obviously the day for hearing voices.
He pocketed the cellphone and traipsed up the hill to meet his damned babysitter.
*
“A cousin?” Rafferty echoed.
