Page 25 of Deadly Ruck
"Why not get someone else to do it?" Atlas asked. "Why involve Chelsea?"
"Because I know who she is," Nyla said, without taking her eyes off me. "Who she really is. I know she's been in denial for a long time and that's frustrated some people."
"Boo fucking hoo," I said sarcastically. Okay, Iwasfinally ready to embrace that side of myself, but was she really saying she pushed me to it? That she engineered everything which happened to us just so I'd step back out of my comfort zone and into the crazy lifestyle I'd worked so hard to stay out of? All of the blood, sweat and tears were because of her? Why?
I stiffened my back and raised my chin proudly. I outranked her and we both knew it. She didn't get to push me around.
In theory.
"I get to decide who and what I am."
She laughed. "If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that, I'd be richer than I already am. I've been pulling your strings from the start and you've been dancing on them like a good girl."
How far would I get if I launched myself at her and wrapped my hands around her throat? The guys wouldn't stop me. At least, Dallas and Jay wouldn't. I wasn't so sure about Atlas.
"You killed my boyfriends," I said, my voice stony cold.
Her expression became serious. "That wasn't me. That was all Carlos. Which brings me to my point."
"It's about time," Atlas said under his breath.
"I was aware of his attraction to you," she said slowly.
"Jealous?" I asked.
She snort-laughed. "Hardly. Him killing your boyfriends helped me, in a way. It should make this easier for me." Her eyes were stone cold. Talking about three men dying didn't even reach her. She might have been talking about what she ate for dinner the night before. Of course, people like her were familiar with death. So much so it didn't matter. As long as it wasn't them, then they didn't care.
Until yesterday, I would have been horrified. But now I was starting to understand how anyone could become like that. At some point, you had to switch off or it would destroy you from the inside out. And yet, she was still talking about my guys.
They weren't nothing. They were everything. They deserved better than to be a footnote in the conversation. So much better.
There was that urge to strangle her again. I curled my hands around the top of the sheets and struggled to push the grief aside. I couldn't lose it, not in front of her. Not in front of anyone. I was done being vulnerable. I had to be made of steel. Stronger and tougher than I'd ever been. Able to bend but not break. Nothing else would get me through this. These next few hours and the rest of my life.
"How could them dying help you?" I asked. My tone was tighter than the top of the drum. So tight if I touched it, it might snap. Rage barely contained. Ready to grab a drum of oil andlight a match to set everything on fire. Right now, I didn't care who got burnt. If they got in my way, they'd be incinerated.
Don't lose your shit, I told myself.That's what they want. If you do that, they win.
I was not letting them win. My guys didn't die for nothing. Their deaths meant others would suffer, would pay for taking them from me. I'd see to that if it was the last thing I did.
Nyla leaned even further forward. When she spoke, it was barely a whisper, only loud enough for us to hear.
"Them dying changed everything, you have to admit that. Because it made you angry. Angrier than anything I could have done to you. I need you angry. Because you're Carlos' weakness. Together, we can bring him down."
Chapter Eleven
Ramsey
"Well that's fucked,"Frost remarked.
He stood beside the SUV, arms crossed over his chest, surveying what was left of his cottage. "I was fond of that place too."
"It could have been worse." Storm matched his pose. "We could have been inside."
Frost nodded. "Yes we could. That would have been much more fucked."
"We got lucky," I said. "If we were any closer to that, it would have taken us out."
I leaned against the side of the SUV, away from the still roaring blaze. It was already starting to die down, and so far hadn't spread beyond the cottage. We were also lucky it wasn’t the middle of summer, because if the area was dry, it would ignite like the perfect kindling. The whole forest would go up so fast we'd be lucky to get out in time.
