Page 51 of Nothing to Fear
“You’re getting better at this, the analysis, the interpretation.”
“Maybe I just have a good tutor.”
Asher’s eyes bounce between mine, the side of his finger lightly brushing back and forth against my own.
“Nah, this is all you.”
The archive hums with silence and secrets as we lean back over the haunted, gothic novel, my heart beating out of my chest in an effort to get closer to his. The look on his face is full of pride, and I’ve never felt so whole before.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“What are you reading?” I ask him.
“Edgar Allen Poe.”
I smile at him, loving that he always has a book in his hand. It’s usually Gothic literature or historical nonfiction.
“Archives tonight?” I ask him, full well knowing it’s not our typical night to study.
A smack to the back of my head has me seeing red, and I jerk to standing quickly, my chair falling to the floor behind me.
I find the culprit just as he’s moving to take a seat with our teammates.
“Yo, Blackwood! You too cool for us now? You’re spending too much time with the ass-kisser!”
“Cut the shit, Rome. It’s time to grow up.”
“Whoa, Cap, touchy! Asher rubbing off on you? Or against you?”
Asher winces, and my heart plummets. It’s now or never, and I’m done living this way.
“You know what, Rome? He’s rubbing off inside me. How’s that? That what you wanted to hear?” Rome’s face goes white as a ghost as Eli chokes on his food. “That’s right, you heard me correctly. I’m gay. Always have been, always will be. You got a problem with it? Take it up with Coach or President Blackwood.”
“Silas, we didn’t know . . .” Eli admits.
“No shit you didn’t know. You all make assumptions without taking a minute to get to know people for who they are. And by doing that, you’re putting them into boxes and inadvertently making them feel like being themselves won’t be accepted. It instills fear. So learn from this, huh? Oh! And if onemore of you calls Asher an ass-kisser one more fucking time, you’re gonna regret it.”
Eli stands quickly, walking over to me and meeting me toe-to-toe. Anger and shock course through me, and I brace myself for whatever bullshit could be spewed.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I owe you a huge apology. I had no idea, and I’d never want to make someone feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry I haven’t been a good enough friend that you couldn’t come to me. I’ll do better.”
My heart sinks. It’s more than I could have expected. I won’t get the same response from Rome, but Eli means well; hell, he very well could be doing the same thing I was, whatever he can to fit in with the team and survive here.
“I appreciate that, we’re good.”
I pick up my chair and sit down next to Asher, scooting my chair as close as physically possible and throwing my arm around the back of his. My hands and legs are shaking like a fucking leaf, but the weight that was just lifted is indescribable.
“That was wicked fuckin’ hot, I gotta tell you,” Asher whispers under his breath. I grab his chin between my fingers, forcing him to look at me.
“What was that?”
“That was hot, and I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you for believing in me. For showing me there’s nothing to fear but fear itself.”
“Probably a mix of me and the Gothic literature you’ve finally caught up on the last month.”
