Page 40 of Nothing to Fear
Fuck. He liked that. I pinch the head of my dick to stave off my impending orgasm, wanting to hold off a few moments longer, just as he jerks his hips forward, pushing so far into the back of my throat, my nose presses against the short hair on his pelvis. The first pulse of cum shoots down my throat, causing me to gag involuntarily, but I don’t back up.
Closing my eyes, I take everything he gives me, his hips stuttering as his legs shake. It’s so hot. I swallow down the first half, keeping the rest in my mouth, his taste salty on my tongue while I resume the quick, tight strokes on my dick, causing me to moan around him. Once Silas has finished, his body pulling away from me and sagging slightly against the wall, I sit up higher on my knees, pushing my hips out slightly and hovering my mouth directly over my dick.
I can feel Silas’ eyes on me as I open my mouth, letting his cum drip from my tongue and onto my cock. Using his cum aslube, I resume my strokes, rubbing up and down my length, twisting around my head like a corkscrew on every upstroke.
“Holy shit, that’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” His words are like a spark, igniting my orgasm like he held the key to push me over the edge.
“Fuck, on your knees, Si.”
He falls to his knees as I quickly stand, continuing to work my length, pleasure pulsing through me, my cock thickening in my fist, Silas’ cum making vulgar squelching sounds as I rub it into my skin. He’s right, hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Next to my cock filling his ass.
“It’s coming, open your mouth and stick out your tongue.” My voice is hoarse with lust, my orgasm right on the cusp. Silas obeys, his hands reaching out to steady my hips, his thumb swiping back and forth at my hip bones as I stare down at his pink tongue, ready and waiting.
Pleasure surges forward, my orgasm barreling through me as I aim my cock at Silas’ mouth, ribbons of pearly white cum painting his tongue and lips. I take it back.Thisis the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
“Fuuuuuuck, yessss,” I moan, slapping the head of my dick against his tongue as the last of my cum empties onto him. I collapse onto the floor in front of him, my legs spread over his thighs as I grip his hair, yanking his head backward and kissing him.
The mutual taste of our cum mingles on our tongues as we connect in the messiest kiss of our lives. I could kiss Silas all day long, my heart pounding in my chest, my head swimming with thoughts of him and nothing else. Our kiss slows to a more languid pace until we pull apart.
“You’re amazing,” I tell him honestly.
“That word is reserved for only you. I’m far from it.” A smile tugs at my lips, and I shake my head in disagreement. “How do you do it?” he asks out of nowhere. His hands brush the strands of hair out of my face, his fingertips light against my skin. It’s completely opposite of everything I expected Silas to be like, but I’ve quickly learned, everything I thought I knew was completely wrong.
“How do I do what?”
“Just be you? You make it look so easy.”
“Why waste my time being anyone other than who I am? People will either accept me, or they won’t. I won’t waste my energy on the people who don’t because they don’t matter. Love isn’t conditional, baby. You either feel it, or you don’t. The people who do don’t care about things like sexuality or gender identity. If they truly love you, they will want you to be happy, safe, and secure. I would rather live my life and be me and only be surrounded by people who love me wholeheartedly, than pretend to be someone else and be surrounded by people who will bail on me the moment they’re faced with my reality.”
I’m not sure if my honesty was what he needed or if he was hoping I would say something that justified his position, but like I said, I’m not going to lie to make someone else feel better. This is my truth. I was lucky enough to be raised by two strong women who refused to let me be anything other than authentically myself. My mom said she knew I was gay before I did, and never once did she make me feel like I couldn’t be open about who I was. My grandmother was the same way. Did I have a big coming out announcement? No. I just simply was. There were zero expectations for me growing up with them, and I was told over and over again that it was a privilege to know me and have me in their lives.
Who needs a dad when I’ve got that waiting for me at home?
Instead of answering me with words, Silas slams his mouth against mine, pressing our bodies flush against eachother as we fall to the cold stone floor. His warmth seeps into mine, and I want to fuse us together, make us one, bury ourselves so deep in one another that there’s no chance of living without the other.
I kiss him back with the same fervor, meeting him in the middle with every stroke of our tongues, every press of our lips, every gasp and hitch in our breathing. We claw at each other, our fingers pressing into each other’s skin. It’s desperate, primal, complete savagery.
When our lips are puffy and bruised, I pull back, resting my forehead against his.
“You taste so good,” he whispers. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
He lets the secret escape his lips, and I can tell by the way he swallows hard against a knot in his throat, the way his breathing hitches and his eyes won’t meet mine, that it wasn’t easy on him. He had something similar last night, but I wasn’t sure what he meant. I do now.
“I didn’t know.”
“How could I have told you? I’m not out at Corvus.”
“Are you comfortable coming out now? I live out in the open, Silas. I don’t want to be your dirty secret. Someone you and your rugby buddies laugh and joke about. But I want you.”
“Just give me some time, please? Let me digest this first. This is a lot to take in.”
“I get it. We’ll take it slow. I’m so fucking into you. This version of you. The one you keep locked up.”
Silas nuzzles his face into my neck, pecking kisses against my skin, and it’s so at odds with the man who only a few weeks ago pummeled me to the ground like I was worthless. I sigh against him, feeling a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying lift off my shoulders.
Chapter 16
Silas
