Page 20 of Nothing to Fear
The week passedin a blur of studying with Asher, classes, and rugby practice. By Friday, I’ve started to find a routine. The days that I don’t have tutoring seem to drag the longest, falling into bed after practice, exhausted and defeated.
Time slows while down in the archives with Asher. The heavy scent of aging paper, dust, and burning flame surrounds us while we get lost in books; sometimes, the only sound is the quiet hum of breathing between us.
I find myself wanting to be in the chilly, dark archives surrounded by old tomes more than I want to be anywhere else. We seem to have found a place of mutual understanding, where we’ve become friends. The only friend I have that doesn’t pressure me to be anyone but who I am. Even if Asher is just as clueless as everyone else at Corvus as to who I really am.
Lies.
Asher gets the more authentic version of me than anyone else behind these gates ever has.
I walk into the dining hall for lunch, starving, my eyes skimming the area for Asher, not that we’ve ever eaten together before, but maybe there’s a first time for everything? We’re friends, right?
I can’t hide the smile that pulls at my lips as I spot him, taking him in. He’s wearing a white lab coat, and from here, it doesn’t look like there’s anything underneath. I laugh under my breath, wondering why the hell he’s in the dining hall dressed in a costume.
My mouth waters at the sight of him, my mind whirling with wonder. I quickly grab my meal—a turkey sandwich, side salad, sweet potato wedges, and a blue electrolyte drink—and turn back to face him. His black hair is styled wild, as if he used paste and ran his hands through the strands so it stuck up in random places. Black eye makeup lines his already dark features, making him look even more intense and terrifying.
We hold each other’s stare, the tension between us pulling taut. Voices filter through the air, blending into each other as Asher and I stay locked in this web where only we exist. Bodies fade to black around me, the October sunlight filtering in through the stained glass windows of the dining hall, shining over the dark features of his face.
I watch as he leans back against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest, the epitome of carelessness and ease. My feet are moving before I realize it, before I can check myself and where we are. Right now, my body operates on autopilot, as if caught in a gravitational pull; I’m sucked right into the center.
My eyes don’t leave his, and I clock the moment his face flashes with surprise. That’s right, loser, I’m trying here.He didn’t expect me to approach him, and that gives me a boost of confidence. A part of me preens knowing I surprised him.
“Hey,” I greet, leaning into his space slightly so he can hear me over the voices filling the large hall. His scent fills my nose, all books, leather, and ink. “You ready for Fright Night?”
“Yeah. Let’s see if your house can beat week one.”
Week one.
I wonder what Asher was doing during that party, that same party where I had the best sex of my life with a complete stranger. The strangest rush of guilt washes through me. Asher doesn’t even know I’m gay, and my little infatuation is one-sided. There’s no guilt to be had over a hookup. Especially when I know Asher has his fair share. In fact, I practically convinced him to stick his dick into a glory hole at party number two, full well knowing that someone else would be getting him off.
There’s no harm in either of us having consensual hookups.
We’re friends.
I want him to be happy.
It’s fine.
Everything is fine.
“What’s with the costume?”
“Mad scientist thing in Alchemy. Professor Grimsley’s class.”
“Aren’t you worried about a chill?” I ask, attempting a joke. Asher raises an eyebrow, the corner of his lips pulling up on one side before he pulls his bottom one between his teeth. It’s sexy as hell.
“You worried about my dick, Silas?”
My face pales when the words hit my ears, realizing what I said and how it could be taken.
“No, I just, you’re not . . .” I stutter, waving my hand in front of his lab coat.
“Wearing anything under the coat?”
“Yeah?”
“You should try it sometime, Silas, it’sliberating.”
I’d like to try anything if it involves you, Asher Ambrose.
