Page 111 of Nerdplay
“You look great, Cricket.”
“Flattery won’t get you a cabin that doesn’t exist.”
His gaze drops to the desk, as though he’s trying to figure out a way to remove the large, heavy obstacle between us. “I had hoped to come last week, but I had things I couldn’t get out of.”
Bile rises in my throat. “No doubt.”
He zeroes in on me. “My relationship is officially over, so one of us had to move. I drew the short straw.”
His revelation sends shock waves through me. I try to act unaffected, but my legs betray me and force my butt into the chair. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Are you?” He looks at me with that expression I know so well. The one that teased me and tempted me with promises he had no intention of keeping.
“It’s always sad when a relationship ends.”
“Not this one. We weren’t right for each other.”
“Did you actually tell her that, or did you move all your stuff out when she was at work?”
He huffs, somehow offended that I would suggest such a cowardly move. “I guess I deserve that. We can both agree that communication hasn’t been my strong suit, but I’m here now.”
“Which begs the question—why?”
“Because I miss you, and I want you back. I waited until I was officially moved out to come here because I knew you wouldn’t believe me otherwise.”
“You assumed it would be that easy? That I’d be here waiting for you after two years?”
“We can be together now. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” He splays his hands on the desk and leans forward with that penetrating gaze of his. When he looks at me like that, I feel naked and exposed—but not in a good way.
“It was what I wanted two years ago, before I figured out the kind of man you really are.”
His eye twitches. “I didn’t cheat, Cricket. I know you think I did, but Janessa and I weren’t exclusive when you and I hooked up. She and I started seeing each other a couple weeks before I came to camp. I didn’t expect—us to happen.”
“You could’ve told me about her instead of pulling a Houdini.”
“I was confused. I got home and I didn’t know what to do.”
“You obviously made your choice.”
“For the wrong reasons, I see that now. Janessa lived locally to me. It was easier to maintain a relationship with her.”
The easy button pretty much sums up Patrick’s entire personality.
“Why did you register last year and not show up?”
“Janessa and I hit a rough patch, but we made up before I was due to leave. I didn’t feel right about spending time with you. I was afraid my feelings would resurface.” He pushes to an upright position again. “The guy who treated you that way—that isn’t who I am anymore. I messed up, Cricket, but I’m in a much better place now.”
I fold my arms. “Interesting. All these words coming out of your mouth, yet ‘sorry’ hasn’t been one of them.”
“You want me on my knees? Because I’ll do that.” He moves to my side of the desk and lowers himself to the floor. “I’m sorry, Courtney. I’m sorry for the misery I put you through. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”
It took me a long time to erase his image from my mind, and now his reappearance was dragging that old trauma to the surface. I thought I’d healed it, but maybe I’d simply stored it away in an emotional trunk for later use.
“If I’d told you about Janessa, you would’ve assumed I was cheating and then you and I wouldn’t have happened. Can you blame me for staying quiet about her?”
Laughter rips from my throat. “Yes, Patrick. I absolutely can.”
“I felt horrible about ghosting you. If I could take it back, I would. The way I handled the situation was a mistake and I regret it. My therapist said I use women to fill the emptiness inside me. That you were a placeholder for everything missing within myself.”
