Page 104 of Nerdplay
“Can’t we enjoy the night without complicating it?”
She stares at me for a beat before sliding under the covers. “That’s fine. I’m sure it’s for the best.”
My bubble of confidence bursts. “What makes you say that?”
“Because we’re incompatible.”
That gets under my skin for reasons I don’t fully understand. “How are we incompatible?”
“You’re vanilla bean. I’m chocolate chip mint.”
My laugh comes out like a chortle. “I’m vanilla?”
“There’s nothing wrong with vanilla. It’s the most popular flavor for a reason.”
I turn toward her and prop myself up by my elbow. “You’re calling me bland.”
“Not at all.”
“People don’t have to like the same things to be compatible, you know.”
“It isn’t about ice cream flavors or movies or anything external. You’re conflict avoidant. That’s what makes us incompatible.”
“I’m a lawyer, Cricket. If I were conflict avoidant, I couldn’t do my job.”
“You can do it for work because you don’t care about it in the same way. No emotional stakes. You avoid hard conversations, like ones with your parents that you know will upset the natural order. I prefer to address things before they have a chance to fester.”
“I care about my job.”
“I didn’t say otherwise. I said you care about it in a different way.” She shrugs. “But if you’d rather not get naked again, I’ll be disappointed, but I understand.”
I’m unsure how to respond, although there are parts of my body that are way ahead of me.
“You said yourself we’re incompatible. Sex isn’t a good idea if it isn’t going to lead to anything more fulfilling.” She has no idea how hard it was to drag those words from my mouth.
But I meant them.
“Then why did you kiss me in the lake?”
‘Because I couldn’t not kiss you in that moment’ doesn’t seem like a solid answer, but if she wants emotional honesty, I’ll give it to her. “Because I was exhausted.”
She purses her lips, perplexed. “You were so worn out that your lips fell on mine?”
“No. I mean I didn’t have the strength to fight my feelings for you anymore. I finally gave in to them.”
My answer appears to rock her. “You have feelings for me?”
“I thought that’s what we said in the kayak.” A thought strikes me. “Wait, are you only interested in a fling?”
“No. That isn’t my style.” She smiles. “I guess we should’ve been more explicit.”
“Doesn’t get more explicit than naked kissing.” I pause. “Is this what you would consider a hard conversation?”
“Yes,” she says in a quiet voice. “And just so it’s clear, I have feelings for you too.”
I allow myself a satisfied smirk. “Now who’s the emotionally unavailable one?”
She flops back onto the bed. “Damn, Charlie. You keep showing me to myself.”
