Page 84 of Dirty Filthy Boy
"Why, she's staying right where she's at. Where else would she go?"
"You can take her with you."
"Oh, we can't do that, dear. The doctor says it would upset her if we were to do that. She might regress even more than she already has."
I jump to my feet to pace up and down the dining room, flailing my arms, tears running down my face. "How could you do that? How could you move away and leave her behind?" They look so normal on the outside. But inside they're monsters.
"Now, MacKenna. We're doing what's best for her. What her doctor advised. And, even if we, you'll be near her. Chicago is four hours away. You can visit her anytime."
"Four hours is too far away. I want her near me in Chicago."
"You're being selfish. The place she's at is the best for her. But go see her by all means. Talk to the doctors there. If they approve it, we'll move her closer to you."
The day after Christmas I do just that. I'm shown to the visitor's room, a small, white walled room, sterile. Other than a table and two chairs, there's nothing else in the room.
My sister arrives with an attendant by her side, dressed in a sweater and a pair of dark slacks. Her hair's a darker shade of red than mine, and her eyes are brown. She's thirty now, eight years older than me, but still as beautiful as ever. That beauty had been her curse. It'd gotten the attention of many a teenage boy, and Tommy Hawkins, a grown man.
As soon as she steps into the room, I near her so I can kiss her cheek, but she cowers away from me, and closer to the attendant.
"She doesn't like to be touched. I'm sorry." The attendant's eyes smile kindly on me, offering me what little comfort they can.
"Jeanie, how are you?"
My sister's eyes turn wary, so unlike the warm, shiny look that gazed out of her eyes so long ago. "Fine."
"That's great."
"Better sit. Across the table. She likes the protection of the table."
I want to scream that there's no need for protection, not against me. But, of course, I wouldn't get anywhere. If anything, I would probably cause Jeanie more upset.
Once I take my seat across the table from her, Jeanie relaxes her shoulders, and she takes to staring out the window. There's nothing to see out there, except for some bare trees.
"She looks well." I address this statement to the attendant.
"She is. We're very fond of your sister. She never causes any problems for the staff, except when she meets a new member of the staff. We have to be very careful to introduce her to any new members of the staff. She gets upset then."
"What does she do?" The old Jeanie loved to dance and sing around the room we shared as girls.
"Well, she likes to play with her dolls."
"She has dolls?"
"Yes. Your parents brought them to her."
Good to know they've done something positive for Jeanie.
"And she loves to listen to music."
"Yes, she liked that growing up. Does she dance?"
"No. That's hard to do with her leg."
The leg Tommy Hawkins had broken. The bastard had not only taken her body and her mind, but robbed her of the ability to dance. "Yes, of course." I swallow back the bile that rises in my stomach. "Is there anything she needs?"
"No. She's warm and happy in her own world."
"MacKenna."
