Page 36 of Part of Forever
The whole way home, the words are on the tip of my tongue.My cancer is back. I have a tumor, but I’m going to be okay. I just didn’t want you to worry.But I don’t say any of it. Guilt is gnawing at me as we pull up to my house.
“See you at school on Monday,” I say, and the words feel all wrong, but I push them out.
I will not tell anyone else about the tumor. Iamgoing to be fine. Keeping a secret isn’t that big of a deal.
Even though it feels like it is.
14
It’s Wednesday—mysurgery is two days away—and right now I’m trying to remain calm, but I can’t help but fidget in my seat. I’m not nervous about my surgery, but I am nervous about math today. The only positive about everything is that Mrs. Adams agreed to help, so hopefully everything goes according to plan.
Grace smiles at me as she slides into her seat, and Tucker waves at me. I wave back, but turn to face forward because I don’t want him to see it on my face. I don’t want to give anything away, and I’m afraid he’ll take one look at me and know that I’m about to accept his invitation to the dance.
We haven’t talked any more about what role his dad played in getting him on tour, but on Monday it was publicly announced that Tucker would be opening for Peyton Matthews on a lot of the big websites and wherever else they announce tour information, so the whole school knows about it. The whole school istalkingabout it. Tucker fell into his role of superstar a little too easily, at least in front of everyone. He acts like he’s loving all the attention, because that’s what the kids at school seem to expect. His one love is the music, though, so all of the popularity doesn’t matter.
It’s weird having to share him with everyone, though. People I’ve never even seen before have started talking to him—and to me by extension, since we’ve been spending every second we can together—just because he could make it big andmaybebe really famous someday. Apparently, a lot of people want to be your best friend when that’s about to happen. At least, when it’s in the music industry or something else equally as exciting.
I’m jittery as Mrs. Adams starts her lesson. I shift in my seat, because even though this was all my plan, I don’t actually know when it will happen. I gave her various instructions, but also told her that she could wing it.
Mrs. Adams flips on her projector and I know it’s time to take notes for the day. It’s how she teaches; she writes out the problems and notes that we copy as she goes through the lesson. It’s pretty old-school. Today though, I’m grateful.
We’re on our trigonometry unit, which is something I really don’t understand. I try to focus on what she’s saying, but I can’t.
Grace keeps grinning and I glance back at Tucker, but he’s focused on taking notes. He has no idea what’s about to happen.
I’m sweating when there’s only ten minutes left in class. Did Mrs. Adams forget? I talked to her right before class and I know we’re on the home stretch of our lesson, because we’re doing a homework problem. We solve the problem together and then she writes and says, “Rosie says yes to the dance!”
A few people cheer and look to me, then Tucker. My face is warm from everyone looking at me and I glance back at him; his grin makes me feel warm for completely different reasons.
“This is the greatest class,” Kelsey, the only sophomore in the class, says from the front row. She’s not wrong though; it’s partly the class, but I’m also grateful that Mrs. Adams lets us get away with things that some teachers wouldn’t.
“That was great,” Tucker says, laughing. “Well done, Rosie, I was totally surprised.” Which is exactly what I was going for. Now,if I can only keep my surgery and my tumor a secret for the rest of forever, that would be great.
Tucker wraps his arms around me as we step into the hallway after class. “That was perfect, darlin’.” His breath is warm against my ear and I wrap my arms around him, tightening our hug.
I grin. “I wanted it to be a surprise, and something no one ever does. Like who would have their teacher help them answer to a dance? Me, I guess.”
His eyes gleam as he hugs me tightly. There are three little words on the tip of my tongue, but they terrify me. I can’t say them yet; it’s far too soon. We may have known each other for a while, but I don’t want to rush our relationship. We’ve still got time, but I do wonder if he feels the same way about me that I feel about him.
The all-encompassing love that I don’t want to fight anymore. If Mom knew, she’d for sure tell me that it’s just teenage love and I need to not let myself get swept away. But what if I want to be swept away? What if, for once in my life, I don’t want to listen to her practical advice?
I stand up on my toes and press a quick kiss against his lips, smiling at the shocked look on his face as I pull away.
“I thought you weren’t into such public displays of affection,” he says, grabbing my hand as we head down the hall. Math is our last class of the day, and the hall is nearly empty already since everyone seems to scatter as soon as the last bell rings.
“I’m not,” I say. “Or maybe I am, actually. I don’t know.” I do a weird little skip, but I can’t seem to hold in this joy I feel inside.
“Well, whatever is happening right now, I like this version of you, Rosie. It’s carefree.” He squeezes my hand three times. “And does this mean I can kiss you in the hallway when I want to?”
I squeeze his hand back. Three times for those three little words I’m not quite ready to say out loud. “Maybe.” I smirk.
He groans. “You can’t tease me like that.”
“Why not? It’s fun.”
He shakes his head. “I think you’re going to be the death of me, or at the very least, break my heart into a million pieces.”
I stop walking and face him. “Or…we could just never break up and then we’ll be each other’s forever, and I won’t break your heart.”
