Page 30 of Part of Forever
It was over so fast.
(Does that make me sound needy?)
But one second his lips were on mine, and the next it was just a memory; the faint smell of his mint gum still lingering in the air. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me, and I said, “That was a good secret.”
And then he just smiled and looked back at the fireworks!
We didn’t talk about it. He didn’t even hug me goodnight when we left… he just kissed me and then went on as if life was just normal and that kissing each other was a regular part of our days!
I want him to kiss me again.
No. I want to ask him what the kiss meant.
No. I need to tell him that nothing can happen. Not until after my audition.
Gosh I’m going to remember this kiss forever.
Why did he have to kiss me now? Why did it have to be so perfect (even if it was short?) Why couldn’t he have waited?
What if this messes everything up?
12
It’s Monday,and my surgery is in eleven days. Grace and I are passing notes in math class, because it’s test review day. Not that we’re reviewing for a test, nope. Today we’re supposed to be going over the test we took before Christmas break so we can understand what we did wrong on the problems we missed.
So. When do you think Tuck’s gonna ask you to the Valentine’s Dance?
Prom is big pretty much everywhere, but for some reason, the Valentine’s Dance is the big event at our school; it always has been. Grace’s question fills my stomach with butterflies.
You mean if he asks…
He’s going to ask you, Rosie. He’s in love with you.
This is the moment I should tell her; tell her that I willtechnically still be in recovery from surgery when the dance is, but I can’t tell her in a note, and I’m not going to tell her yet. I just want things to be normal, at least until I hear back from Paris. Doctor Barker is confident that with the surgery and monitoring me, maybe I’ll be able to dance with PBA in September. I have to be able to go though; I’m willing that into existence, as Grace would say.
I just hope he asks soon.
He will.
I hope so.
Tucker pokes my back with a pencil and when Mrs. Adams looks down, I turn to face him. His eyes flick to the note folded on the edge of his desk and I grab it, unfolding it as quietly as possible. There’s a usual hum of chatter in the classroom, and like always, it completely covers the rustle of paper.
Rosie-
Will you…..
Come over after school?
Circle YES or NO.
- Tucker
I know I shouldn’t be disappointed. I want more than a note asking me to the dance, but I still deflate slightly when I read his note. Then I circle yes and discreetly turn back to return the note to him.
I feel like we don’t write notes as much as we used to. Not just me and Tucker, but in general. We did a lot in elementary school.Then by middle school, almost everyone had a phone, so texting was easier than writing a note. But I like the finality of a note. That when you write it, it’s there forever. I mean, I guess that’s sort of how texts are, too, but it still feels different. It’s something tangible that I can keep.
It’s why I still keep a journal, to get my thoughts out on paper in a real way. It’s helped since I had cancer the first time, and maybe it will help this time, too. I keep writing my note to Grace.
