Page 24 of Part of Forever
“No one died,” I snap.
“I didn’t say that anyone did.” When Nathan looks at me, I feel like he can see right through me, right into my mind.
“Right, I know.” I’m trying to brush it off, wondering how I’ll avoid Lucy the next time we run into each other when Dad glances back at us.
“Who was that girl you were talking to today?” he asks. “When I peeked in the window, you were talking to a girl sitting next to you.”
Swallow,I tell myself.It’s going to be fine. You can be friends with the girl who has cancer. Youarethe girl who has cancer.“Her name is Lucy and she was very friendly.”
“Well,” Dad says, “that’ll be nice, to have a familiar face now when you’re there.”
I nod, but can’t say anything else. Suddenly, I can’t breathe. I can’t say that she’s been living surgery to surgery, but it’s too dangerous to have that many surgeries on her brain so often. Chemo will slow the growth of her tumor down, but death is at the end of the barrel she’s looking down.Being friends with her isn’t a good idea,I think, because what’s the point if in a few months she’ll be gone; why would I want that hurt in my life?
It’s a selfish thought, but I think it anyway. Promising myself I will ask to be seated away from Lucy next time if she’s in the clinic. I don’t want to get attached to her if she’s just going to be gone soon after the next time I see her.
11
“You ready for this?”Nathan asks as we get out of the car and head up the walk to the front door.
“Ready to watchBambifor the millionth time? Sure.”
“No. ” Nathan looks at me pointedly. “You can’t keep this a secret, Rosie.”
“Just a little longer,” I promise. I’m not ready to talk about my tumor or the surgery. Tonight is the first night I’m hanging out with Tucker since our kiss. And even though Nathan is my twin, I still haven’t told anyone about the kiss. I guess I’m just in a secret-keeping mood. I’m trying to process everything, and I’m not ready to share my heart. Plus, I’m not sure how to act tonight. Do I sit by Tucker? Will he hold my hand? Do I want him to? I do want him to. I just want to be us for a little longer, without me being the girl who has cancer again. It’s easier this way—people can’t treat me differently if they don’t know.
Nathan shakes his head and knocks on the door. It swings open almost immediately, revealing Kenny, one of Grace’s younger brothers.
“Oh, it’s just you two,” he groans, and then runs back down the hallway.
“Hey, I thought you liked us.” Nathan steps into the house as Micah, Grace’s other brother, comes running down the hall.
“It wasn’t the pizza,” Kenny says, and Micah’s face falls, too.
“You made us excited.”
“Sorry,” we say at the same time.
“Everyone is downstairs,” Micah says and heads back down the hall, head hanging low.
“That kid sure loves pizza,” my brother says as he slips off his shoes. I nod and follow him down to the basement, which already smells like popcorn. Grace is sitting on the couch in the dim room, the light of her phone making her face bright.
“Hey,” I say. She grins up at me. Nathan plops onto the couch next to her, pulling her phone from her hands.
“Hey! I was looking at that, but I am happy you’re here.” She tries to reach for her phone, but Nathan tosses it onto the beanbag. Our movie nights are supposed to be phone-free—a decision she made without the rest of us—yet she’s the one who ignores the rule most of the time.
“Tucker will probably be down in a minute,” she says, just as I hear him come down the stairs. I turn to face him for the first time since I ran out of his dressing room last week. I mean, yes, I have seen him at school. But this is different and we both know it.
“Hi.” I pull on the hem of my shirt, unsure of what to do with my hands.
“Hi.” Tucker stares at me, then glances in Nathan’s direction. “Hey.”
“Hello,” Nathan says, looking between the two of us, confusion all over his face.
Grace jumps up and appears by my side. “Is this a Jess and Rory moment?” My cheeks turn pink.
“A what?” Tucker asks, looking more confused than Nathan.
“Tucker kissed me on Saturday,” I blurt and all three pairs of eyes turn toward me. “And Shawn told me he didn’t want to date.”
