Page 18 of Part of Forever
“Iwilltell them soon,” I promise, only because I know I do need to tell them. Even if it is only this tumor. They are my best friends. They deserve to know, but I’m not ready. “I just need to let it sit more.”
“Maybe after next week, once we have a plan, it’ll be easier.” He gives me a smile that makes me feel like I’ve made him proud and disappointed him at the same time.
“Maybe,” I say, then stand as Nathan comes running down the stairs.
I grab my purse but Dad stops me with his hand on mine. “I love you, Rosie,” he says and I blink rapidly so the tears that fill my eyes won’t fall.
“I love you, too, Dad,” I say and he smiles at me.
“You two have fun,” he says. All I can muster is a nod in reply before following Nathan outside.
I smooth out my dress and look around the bar for Grace. Nathan sees her first and I follow him to a booth near the small stage. Several people say hello to him as we walk by, since a lot of our classmates are here. Once a week, the local bar hosts an alcohol-free happy hour for the high school students. It’s one of the nights where Tucker sings as their main entertainment. A lot of people talk about it at school, and Grace and Nathan come almost every week. But tonight’s my first time.
Shawn said he’d be here, but after last night, I made it clear that I’ll be sitting with my friends, if I can help it.
“She lives!” Grace jumps up to hug me when I reach the table. “Only joking, but I’m glad you took a break from ballet and Shawn for the evening.”
I hug her back. “You know I’ve missed hanging out with you on Saturdays.”
She releases me, and pulls my twin in for a hug. Over his shoulder she says, “I know, me too.” As she releases him and slides back into the booth, she tilts her head in a gesture I know all too well. It means ‘you should stop hanging out with Shawn and you’d get your Saturdays back.’
I nod, because she’s right. I want to tell her it’s my mom who wants me to date Shawn, and that I’m done with that. I want to date someone else. Tucker. I glance around the bar for him, but he’s nowhere to be found in the sea of people.
“Where’s Tucker?” I ask and Grace raises an eyebrow at me. I want to tellhimfirst about how I’m feeling, not Grace. But the words bubble up in my chest. I open my mouth again when a soft hand touches my shoulder.
“Right here,” he says. I turn in surprise. He looks good; he’s in a white T-shirt and is wearing a cowboy hat. I suppress a shiver and keep my eyes on his face after my quick once-over.
“Glad you could all make it.” His words are light, but his eyes don’t leave mine. He leans in close and I get a whiff of his minty gum and woodsy cologne. His breath tickles my ear as he whispers, “You look pretty, darlin’. But what I really want to know is when can I see you dance?” His voice is cold and unforgiving, like he’s mad at me even though the question seems innocent. Even though he said I’m pretty. He’s mad I’m breaking the deal that I made.
He takes half a step back, eyeing me.
“Whenever you want,” I mumble, glancing down at my feet. Because I can’t talk to him about this, not now. Yes, I’m breaking the deal. I think he only agreed in the first place because he was worried I’d completely walk away from a friendship with him if he said no, and I honestly might have. I knew from the first second I laid my eyes on Tucker Bensen that he was someonespecial—that he was going to be someone special to me. But now, the deal is off. I’m here and I’m going to hear him sing. We can work out the details of him watching me dance later.
“Are you practicing tomorrow?” he asks and I look back up at him. Someone calls his name, but he holds up a finger.
I let out a sigh. “No, I’m not. We’re all just hanging out at home—” I start, but Grace interrupts.
“Oh, as a celebration for everything being clear yesterday?” Her grin cracks my heart in two.
“Something like that.” I glance at my feet again, and my cheeks grow warm. Now would be the perfect time to tell them. Instead, I say, “But I’ll be in the studio every day next week, and you’re welcome to come by any time.”
“I think I will.” Tucker knocks on the table before walking toward the stage where a woman, possibly his boss, stands watching us.
I sink onto the bench across from Grace and Nathan.
Both have their eyes on me. “Okay, what’s with the ice storm?” Grace asks.
“Nothing,” I say. “I mean, I don’t know.”
“Liar.”
I let out a sigh. “Tucker had to pick me up last night.”
Her mouth pops into the perfectO. “Shawn is an idiot,” she mutters, rolling her eyes. Again, I’m reminded of how my friends, but especially Grace, don’t understand why I’ve been ‘trying’ to date Shawn. I want to tell her the truth, that it is all a sham and that I’m officially ending it, tonight. I’m also worried about telling her the truth about my cancer, and that I’m nervous to risk changing things with Tucker. What if it all goes wrong? It could go so horribly wrong. I close my eyes, trying to keep my mind from spiraling any more than it already is.
I make up my mind. Tonight, I’m going to tell Shawn he can do whatever the heck he wants, despite what our moms say and in spite of his crush on Libby, and then I’m going to tell Tucker howI feel. I’m going to take the jump. I have too many secrets; I have to let at least one of them out.
“Shawn went surfing at midnight,” I say, only confirming what she just said about him being an idiot. She rolls her eyes a second time.
