Page 8 of Begin Again
“Seriously, Mom, do you even hear yourself?” Annie yells back. “An extra cookie here and there is not the reason why guys don’t notice me. And I’m only fifteen, shouldn’t I not be worried about guys right now?”
Annie’s mom huffs. “With that attitude, you’ll never get married. Men like skinny women.”
I swallow the bile in my throat. The first time I heard Annie’s mom talk about things like this, I was shocked. My mom would never say something like that to either one of my younger sisters or any other person in general. I clench my fist. Why would someone talk to their daughter this way? The daughter could probably gain a few pounds if anyone is being honest. Annie eats like a bird, and I’m afraid she’ll get snapped like a twig if she’s not careful.
“I’m fifteen,” Annie yells back.
“All the more reason to think about your future. You spend too much of your time with your nose stuck in books.”
“Can you even hear yourself, Mom?” Annie asks again, her voice a little quieter now, but I can still hear the bitterness there.“And I’m not even eating cookies, I’m making spaghetti. You sound delusional!”
“Don’t you dare talk to me that way,” their mom yells and then she storms out the backdoor.
“I’m gonna go see if I can talk to her,” Noah says—talking about his mom. He’s always trying to fix things, but I don’t think anything will fix this. His mom needs a reality check. “Could you check on Annie?”
“Sure,” I say and head toward the kitchen. I find her at the stove, cooking some pasta.
“Hi,” I say as I approach her.
“Hi.” She doesn’t look at me, and anger oozes off of her.
“You okay?” I step closer so we're only a foot or so apart. I ignore the way my traitorous heart beats faster at her proximity. So much for getting rid of this crush. If anything, it’s going to grow the more I hang out with her, not that I want to stop.
She sighs and even though she’s angry, there’s warmth in her eyes when she looks up at me. “All of that started because I told her I was going to make us some spaghetti for dinner after she told me she didn’t have a plan because she figured you and Noah would get some food. The woman would rather me starve than eat something.”
I look up at the ceiling as I lean against the counter. “Spaghetti is always a good choice.”
“Thank you.” She glances back at the pot of boiling water. “This might be horrible to say, but I can’t wait until I’m old enough to move out.”
It's not funny, but I let out a laugh. “I don’t blame you. Where will you go?”
She stirs the marinara sauce as it starts to bubble. “New York maybe. They have a good culinary school I think. And I like food.” She glances toward the side door that Noah and her mom went out of. “Too much, according to my mother. But Istarted cooking more this school year after my cooking class last semester, and I like it.”
“Don’t listen to her,” I say, wishing I could do more to help her and tell her mom to shut up. But that’s not my place. We’re friends, but I don’t know if that would be crossing some sort of boundary. “And you should go to a culinary school if that’s what you want.”
She sighs like she wishes it could be that easy and looks up at me. “Did Noah ask Lacey to prom?”
I nod. Changing the subject I see. “Yup, and I nearly lost my nose.”
She laughs. “It’s really cold this winter.”
“Which is why spaghetti is a great dinner.” My stomach rumbles as I tell her this.
She frowns. “I wish I could spend more dinners at your house. At least your mom likes me and doesn’t comment on my eating habits.”
I smile down at her, looking over all the freckles that cover her face. “You know you’re welcome over there anytime.”
“Yeah well, maybe once Mom gets a new job I'll come over more. She’ll get mad if I’m not here for dinner. Which doesn’t make any sense, but I feel like it’s been a long time since anything she did made any sense.”
I nod. Right now, at sixteen, Noah is paying for their rent on the house because their mom hasn’t found a new job. She hasn’t had a job in five of the six months that my family has lived here. At least she broke up with her boyfriend right before Christmas, but now there’s a new guy hanging around the Jones’ house all the time which Noah informed me is the norm for his mom. She goes through boyfriends like changing your clothes through the seasons. I’ve also noticed that she’s grouchy nearly all the time. Between working almost thirty hours a week and going toschool, it’s a wonder that Noah is as happy as he is. Amazingly, Annie is warm and kind, unlike their mother.
“Can’t wait,” I say and Annie leans over and gives me a half hug. I stiffen, my heart beats erratically in my chest. My back burns where her hands are against my shirt. I pray she doesn’t notice. We are just friends, that’s all we’ll ever be. That’s all we can ever be. But her touching me doesn’t help the images that were in my head earlier.
“Come on, you weirdo,” she says after a second. “Don’t leave me hanging, hug me back.”
I force myself to move. I slip my arms around her and wish that the moment could last longer than a handful of seconds. That my hug could somehow take away all of her pain and make everything better. That it could mean something more than friends.
I swallow hard as I take a step back, knowing that I’m already falling for her, even if I shouldn’t be. I can’t seem to help it. Something about Annie just pulls me to her, and I don’t want to make it stop.
