Page 73 of Begin Again
She throws her head back in a laugh, and my heart lifts. After so many months of seeing her so guarded, it’s so nice to see her so carefree. “Are you going to call me your wife forever?”
I rest my cheek against her forehead. “Yeah, I think I will.”
“I like it,” she says as we sway together in time. “But it’ll take some getting used to.”
“Mhm,” I murmur in agreement. As we dance, I notice a man glued to the baseball game that’s playing on one of the TVs at the bar in the restaurant, and the humid, salty air assaults my senses, but I love it. I know that every time I’m near the ocean, I’ll remember this moment.
I know that going to Colorado is going to change things, that here at this resort, everything feels magical and even more romantic. But I’m ready to show Annie all the love I’ve been holding in for years. I know she’ll try to pull away, try to do things on her own and not let me in, but I’m going to be there for her every single time. I can’t imagine a life without her—I don’t want a life without her. And I’ll take every moment I can to show her that I mean that.
I hear her yawn. “Should we get you to bed? We’ve got a long day tomorrow.”
By some miracle, we’re both on the same flight home, even though Annie had no clue I was living in Colorado. But I upgraded my seat so that I could sit by her. She doesn’t have to fly alone, ever again if I can help it.
“Yes, please.” Annie yawns again.
I’m driving us to her little cabin that’s on Hannah’s property. Since I parked my car at the airport we didn’t have to get an Uber. I keep glancing at Annie, and I know something is off.
Her walls are going up. I see it happening in real time the closer we get to Estes Park. When it happened on the plane and she got all quiet and less touchy, I chalked it up to flight anxiety.But she hasn’t changed since we’ve landed. She avoided meeting my eyes as we waited for our luggage and that’s when I knew. She’s getting ready to block me out again.
“You’ll love it,” Annie is telling me. “The cabin is gorgeous and looks out to the prettiest view of the mountains. And I can’t wait to show you the cafe, it’s going to be so great. We can go there tomorrow, since I think we’ll both be too tired tonight.”
It’s eight in the morning and I’m exhausted from traveling all night. I keep telling myself that Annie is only getting quieter and less touchy because she’s so tired, but I’m afraid she’s putting up her walls.
She’s figuring out how to let me down easy, because she’s afraid. But I’m not going to let that happen. She doesn’t get to do that, not again. Not when I’ve seen how happy we are together, not when I know that she completes me.
The cabin is dark when we arrive—the curtains all drawn, but it’s cozy, just like Annie said it would be.
“Annie—” I start but she cuts me off, still not looking at me.
“I’m really tired, Sam, can we talk after we get some sleep?”
“Sure, sunshine,” I say, worry filling my gut. Later, I’ll tell her just exactly what I feel for her and that I’m not gonna let her walk away from our marriage, unless that’s truly what she wants to do—and not just because she’s scared.
38
ANNIE
Sam is still asleep when I sneak out of the cabin. I walk the half mile to Hannah and Graham’s cabin and knock softly on the door.
Hannah opens a minute later, two steaming mugs of hot chocolate in her hands. Because just like Tally, my brother’s new wife, my dear friend loves hot chocolate more than just about anything. I texted her yesterday, telling her I needed her this morning and she told me she’d be up and ready. Because Sam and I woke up around dinner-time yesterday, made some Top Ramen (not my favorite thing, but it’s what I had) and went promptly back to bed.
“Is Graham up?” I ask and she shakes her head.
“No, he’s getting some good sleep so we can plan our next hiking trip in a month. We’ve got a group of five that are coming and he’s thrilled, but he wants to rest as much as possible before we spend a few days in the mountains with a bunch of people in their early twenties.”
“When is the hiking trip again?”
“Beginning of August.”
I take a sip of my hot chocolate. “Cool.”
“But I know that’s not the real reason you needed to come over here. Tell me everything.”
“I kissed him,” I tell Hannah. “A lot, we’ve kissed a lot. And we slept in the same bed every night.”
She squeals, just like I knew she would. Her love story with her and Graham was a windy road, but they got their happy ending in the end and I guess the same goes for me and Sam.
“You slept with him? Go Annie! Emily will be so proud.”
