Page 71 of Begin Again
“I’m okay,” I say. I am mostly okay now. “He was keeping tabs on me, since he wasn’t at the restaurant often and had seen the change on my insurance policy a few months before and he was livid that I hadn’t told him I was getting married.”
I shudder, trying to block out the memory of him yelling all the vile things he’d said, how after so much time, he could still make me feel so small.
“I don’t remember leaving or heading home. All I know is that hours later, Sam returned from dinner with friends to find me soaking wet and freezing cold in the shower with all of my clothes still on. He helped me change and get warm. When I woke up in the middle of the night, he was still there.”
“I'm glad he was there,” he says. “I wish I could have been there.”
“It’s okay. Sam was there,” I assure him, grateful for the thousandth time that Sam had been there. “Two days later, I went to Colorado. Emily had told me about this therapy type camp and I went to check it out.”
“In the middle of winter?” he asks me.
“Well, it was the off-season, but I did meet the owner, Hannah, randomly on my first day there, without realizing it was her. We’re very good friends now. And I have a therapist. I’ll beheading back there after the wedding and Sam is going to come with me. He’s going to help manage my own cafe.”
“Your own cafe? Annie, that's great!” Noah gives me a hug. “And is it bad to say that I’m glad you're out of New York?”
I smile. “Not bad at all. It was time to start somewhere new.”
“And now?” he asks, “With Sam? That's real?”
My stomach flips. “I think so. I hope so. We’ll see what happens. I still feel a tiny bit wary about marriage and a life with someone, but I’m in therapy and she’s helping me work through a lot of the lies I believed growing up because of things Mom said and did. I think we’re going to be okay, me and Sam.”
“You really married my best friend and didn’t tell me for a whole year?” he asks.
“I really did. I just didn’t think it was going to last, so I wasn’t supposed to ever have a reason to tell you.” Looking back though, I should have known from the start that Sam and I were destined to stay together.
He looks out at the ocean.
“Are you mad?” I ask.
He runs a hand through his hair. “No. Yes. I don’t know. It’s kind of a big bomb, I need to process it. You gonna tell Mom?”
“I don’t know yet. We might wait a little while to drop that news on her, so she can just enjoy your day. I don’t want to take any of your spotlight. You and Tally deserve the best.”
He nods. “Alright. I can be there if you need me to be when you tell her.”
“I haven’t even told her I’ve been in the mountains of Colorado for the past six months, so maybe someday.” It's never been easy for me to talk to my mom. One step at a time though.
“Like I said, give me a call. Or just take Sam with you. The woman loves him.”
I grin. “She really does. Did you know her new boyfriend is only two years older than you and him? She was bragging aboutit to Gran last night, and Gran was a good sport about it, but I think she agrees with me that it’s weird.”
“Gross.” Noah shudders. “Good thing you married Sam when you did, or she might go for him.”
“Gross is right,” I say. “Are you glad that you invited her to the wedding?”
He nods again. “Well, even with her dysfunctional relationships, she’s still Mom and I’m just glad she got to come and didn’t cause any drama. I know your relationship with her is complicated, but I hope it’s okay that she’s here. I guess this new guy has a lot of money.”
“It’s your day,” I say. “And that's what I've heard.”
“At least she can’t get drunk and hit on every single man above the age of eighteen here since she’s already got a boyfriend.”
I roll my eyes a bit. Mom has never been a good role model when it came to the men she dated or how she was constantly flirting with guys. “True.”
Noah gives me a hug. “I’m happy for you, Sis, if Sam makes you happen, then I’m happy.”
“He does.”
“Good.”
