Page 63 of Begin Again
“You look good,” Mom says as she pulls back. “Less stressed, which is good. I was worried you were going to get too many wrinkles. You’re young, you need to relax and take care of your face.”
And there it is. “Thanks Mom.” It’s easier to just pretend that her comments don’t sting than to confront her and make a scenein front of everyone. I feel Sam stiffen beside me, and his hand on my lower back presses against me and I lean into it. Mom might not ever see me as worthy, but at least I know that Sam does.
No one seems to notice us touching, not even Mom, which is good. I’m too tired for any explanations tonight.
“At least you can get a facial tonight, that ought to help. Are you still working in that restaurant?”
“I’m sure the facial will be great,” I say through tight lips, but before I can answer the question about work, Noah claps his hands.
“Alright, time to party!” It’s weird to see my normally quiet brother acting so excited about being social. But he is finally marrying Tally, and I guess that is a big part of it.
“That’s my boyfriend,” Mom whispers to me, not hiding her obvious point. The man, only a handful of years older than me, gives her a huge grin.
I swear I throw up in my mouth a little.
“Cool,” I somehow manage to say. Gross is what I really mean, but I’d never tell my mother that.
“Have fun,” Sam whispers to me, before giving my hand a quick, discreet squeeze before leaving my side.
“You too,” I say. He heads over to where my brother and Drew are standing near Tally’s dad.
“Hello, dear,” Gran, Tally’s grandmother, says before she wraps me in a big hug. I’ve always liked Gran. Her hugs feel like a warm blanket and I want to melt into it. The woman oozes love and goodness and all things that my mother has never been. I met her last year, at Thanksgiving, when Noah proposed to Tally.
“Hi, Gran.” I return her hug. “Have you met my mom?”
“I just met her. Noah introduced us.” Gran gives me a smile that tells me she’ll be on my side if it comes down to it.
“Great,” I say.
“Well, have fun with your facials and getting your nails done,” Noah tells all of us. “We’re going to go eat food.”
I try not to think about all the good food I’ll be missing while someone does my nails. I can’t even remember the last time I got my nails done. But Tally wanted to treat everyone for the wedding.
“See you tomorrow!” Tally hugs Noah before letting him go. He pulls her in for a quick kiss that leaves her beaming. After this, they won’t see each other until the wedding tomorrow. Noah’s a purist in every wedding tradition out there. Though, I am surprised that he didn’t bring his dog Mo with him. He never goes anywhere without that dog. I can’t imagine this resort allows animals, so that’s probably why.
When we get to the spa, Mom sits right next to me. “You’ve put on a little weight, are you eating too much of your food?”
I ignore her whisper because it’s better to simply ignore her than engage in any conversation. Talking with my mother has never been productive. Thankfully, therapy showed me that it’s okay to set boundaries. And one thing I won’t talk to my mother about is my weight or eating or food.
“Oh, so you moved to New York and have barely said a word to me in ten years and you are still going to ignore me?”
“I’m happy to talk to you, Mom,” I tell her, “just not about food. Or my weight, which is perfectly healthy by the way.”
She grunts, “Fine. Would you like to hear about my boyfriend?”
We’re still waiting on everyone to change into their robes so we’ve got ample time to fill. I wish there was something to eat, at least that would sort of distract me.
“Sure,” I say, even though I have no desire to learn about the man that’s been hanging out with my mother.
“I met him at the grocery store, can you believe it? I can’t believe he’s single. He’s so charming and his family comes from so much money.” Mom sighs like this is the best trait a man could possibly have, being rich. “He’s thirty-two, so I know he’s young, but wow is he amazing in bed…”
I hold up a hand, “I’m going to have to stop you right there,” and thankfully, Mom doesn’t say another word because everyone else comes out of the dressing room and we all shuffle down the hallway to the massage tables. I pick the one furthest from my mother, and slowly feel the tension drain from my shoulders as I get a massage.
“Are you ready to marry my brother?” I ask Tally after our massages are finished and we’re getting our nails done. Lucky for me, Mom’s stylist is sitting on the other side of the room so she only has Gran to talk to.
Tally gets a dreamy look in her eyes. “Sure am.”
“He’s been waiting for this moment for years. Since the first time you met,” I say.
