Page 56 of Begin Again
“Want to hang out in the hot tub tonight?” Sam asks as we walk back from dinner later that day.
“I guess,” I say, but I don’t particularly like hot tubs. They feel nice for about five minutes before I get too hot and too antsy and just want to get out. I personally don’t understand the appeal.
“You don’t have to do that, you know,” he says, bumping my shoulder with his.
“Do what?” I ask, looking up at him and I find him already looking down at me. Butterflies swirl in my stomach. Maybe someday I’ll be able to tell him just exactly what his look does to me.
“Say yes even when you don’t want to do something,” he answers.
I struggle to find words. “I want to. Kind of. But I don’t really enjoy hot tubs much. For like less than ten minutes and then I just want to get in the pool.”
Sam gives me an easy grin. “That’s fine with me.”
“Are you just saying that?” Growing up, I was always a people pleaser, then everything that happened with Mitch didn’t really help that. Now I don’t know how to balance saying yes to otherpeople and doing more of what I want to do. And I worry that other people say yes to accommodate me, even when they don’t want to and I hate that.
“Annie,” Sam says and my stomach flips just like it always does whenever he says my name. “We already talked about this.”
“I know, but—” He puts a finger to my lips. I stare up at his bright blue eyes.
“No buts. Just relax. We’ll get warm in the hot tub and then swim in the pool. I honestly just want to hang out with you. Like we used to.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur against his finger. It’s my fault we stopped hanging out, I left.
He shakes his head. “None of that either. I know why you left. I just wish you’d have told me where you were going so I could have come.”
I wish he had come with me. For the past month or so, I’ve been letting myself daydream about what a life with him would look like in Colorado. It’d be a fresh start for both of us.
I decide to be brave. “You could come now, if you wanted,” I tell him and then I’m scrambling. I didn’t mean to say that right this second, but I guess there’s no time like the present. “I need a restaurant manager and you could still do your YouTube thing. I could give you great hours and you might like?—”
He cuts me off again, this time with both of his hands cupping my face. “Yes.”
“Yes?” I ask in a small voice. Incredulous that he’d just pick up his life in New York and move to Colorado.
“Yes, sunshine. I’ll do it.”
I grin up at him, feeling as though a weight has been lifted. I didn’t realize I was so stressed about finding someone. I know I’ve been putting it off, but that’s just what I do, I put things off. But this feels good. Right. For him to work with me.
I’m glad I asked him.
I feel even better knowing that he’ll be coming home with me. Maybe I need to trust myself, my emotions, and his and stop dragging my feet. There’s been something between us for so long, I want to let it happen the way it’s supposed to.
He smiles down at me and for a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me. My heart flutters at the thought. But instead he releases my face and takes a step back. “Should we hit the pool and talk details?”
“Absolutely.”
“I found this really fantastic space. It’s on the corner of the main street in Estes Park and it’s perfect,” I tell him. He’s still in the hot tub, and I’m on the edge with my feet dangling in. He’s watching me attentively and only once has he glanced at my little sun tattoo. “I still don’t have a name but I kind of want to name it something that is sort of a Taylor Swift reference, but that might be too much so I don’t know.”
“I’ll start brainstorming ideas,” Sam says. “What about your menu? Do you know what you want to do yet?”
“I’ve got a breakfast menu almost finished and I want to have a lunch menu. I’d really love for it to be a little cafe that's only open until two or three. I'm tired of working all night long, even though I haven’t done that in months.” Not since I left New York.
“You need your evenings to relax or hang out with friends, or to rereadEmma.” He smiles at me.
Or to kiss him, I think. I give him a smile. “How do you remember that?”
“Remember what?”
“ThatEmmais my favorite book.”
