Page 51 of Begin Again
“Sure,” I hear myself saying. I’m still sweating a lot. He shifts so he’s closer to me, then he sits up and surprises me. He pulls off his shirt.
“Wh-what are you doing?” It’s not like I’ve never seen the man shirtless, I have, many times. I can’t even see him right now, not really because of the dark, and he even slept in the bed next to me without a shirt six months ago. But everything feels different now.
I can hear his smile. “It’s hot. I'll keep my shorts on though.”
“Thanks,” I murmur, my body getting warmer than it was a second ago. Now, not only am I sharing a bed with my husband, he’s also completely shirtless. For a half second, I wonder what would happen if I reach out and touch him. He’s close enough that I easily could. But I don’t. I clench my fists and keep my hands at my sides.
“Well, sleep well,” he says into the darkness.
“Mhm,” I murmur back, because fat chance of that happening.
The sun is bright when I open my eyes because at some point, despite being hot and hyper-aware of Sam in the bed beside me, I fell back asleep.
And then had a super detailed romantic dream about him. I blush just thinking about it.
Thankfully, he’s in the shower, so I have a second to get my bearings before I see him. “It was just a dream,” I tell myself, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have him kiss me like he was in my dream...to have him do more than kiss me.
“Nope, nope, nope,” I say as I pull out my phone. Better to distract myself than let myself think dirty thoughts about my husband.
I have three new texts. The first is from my brother, confirming that he and everyone else will be getting in late tonight and that he’ll see us in the morning tomorrow. The others are from Emily and Hannah.
Emily
KISS HIM! OR I DON’T KNOW, tell him how you feel! And keep me posted.
Hannah
DID YOU KISS HIM YET?!?! And send me a picture, cause like... I don’t know what he looks like.
I laugh. I haven’t told Hannah that she could easily look up Sam online and know exactly what he looks like, but I’m not ready for that yet. I send her a text back.
No kissing will be happening (except in my dreams apparently). We slept in the same bed last night, but nothing happened so keep your mind out of the gutter. I will not be telling him anything. I am here for my brother’s wedding, not here to figure out my crap with Sam.
While I’m typing out the same message to Emily, Hannah responds.
Hannah
GO KISS THE MAN! And I want a SELFIE of the two of you. PLEASE. I’ll put it on my fridge. Graham will die of joy to know that you’re happy with your husband. You should tell him how you feel, even if you’re there for your brother!
No selfies for you.
The shower turns off, which means in the next ten minutes I’ll see Sam. The same man who was just in my dreams. The one I have to spend the entire day with. No. Hannah would tell me to reframe that, the one I get to spend the entire day with. Maybe I should just relax and enjoy the day. I can pretend that everything is the same as it was before I ran away.
Sam comes out of the bathroom, a bunch of steam following him, in nothing but a towel.
“Oh.”
His head whips to mine, and I really should look away, but I can’t stop staring. He’s got abs for days. And that V that people talk about on men, yup, he’s got that too. I’ve seen him shirtless and in shorts before. But that was nothing compared to this. Him in a towel? I think I'm gawking. But I’ve never let myselfreally look at him before and now I can’t seem to take my eyes off of him. I force myself to look at his face, but that’s even worse, because he’s watching me with an amused expression.
He caught me ogling him. The last time he and I were in this situation I didn’t open my eyes until he went into his room, but now I just stare at this man like he is a delicious treat I can’t wait to have. What is wrong with me?
“I didn’t realize you were awake,” he says.
“I didn’t realize you were a Greek god,” I reply, my face flaming. Cursed fair skin and my inability to hide a blush. “I, uh, you must have been working out a lot?”
There is no saving me from this. This is the second time in my life that we’ve found ourselves in this position and I’m making it much, much worse than the first time.
He is still watching me, a smile on his face.
