Page 31 of Begin Again
“Morning.” She smiles at me. “I hope it’s okay that I’m making your lunch right now. You did sleep through breakfast.”
“Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t sleep much on the plane and it took me a while for my brain to quiet down last night. Did you sleep okay?”
She nods, her cheeks pink. “Better than I have in a while.”
That doesn’t seem hard to imagine, especially if she was still staying at his house until a few days ago.
“Were you able to get all of your stuff moved in?” I ask as I sit down at the tiny table in the corner of the kitchen.
“Yeah, Noah helped me get all my things while Mitch was working. I don’t have a ton of stuff. Just a couple of boxes of books and my suitcase with clothes. And Noah said he’d fill our mom in about everything, so I don’t have to talk to her.”
“That’s good.” Annie and her mom haven’t ever had the greatest relationship. I imagine everything will go over better if she hears the news from Noah anyway. I also wonder why Annie doesn’t have very many things, she never has. But I don’t ask because that seems like a question for another day.
“Are you doing okay?” I ask her.
“Better than last night,” she tells me, and I can tell by her tone and body language she’s being honest. And truthfully, it’s really good to see her in the kitchen. If she wasn’t cooking, I’d be worried. “I do have to go to work later though. I couldn’t get my shift covered.”
“But your face…”
“I know I’ve got a huge bruise, but I’ll only be in the kitchen.”
“Will…” the words get lodged in my throat. I can’t even ask if he’ll be there. Because if he’s going to be there, it’s bring your friend to work today because there’s no way I’m letting her go to work alone.
“No,” she answers as if she knows what I was going to ask. “He will be out of the state for a couple of weeks. He’s meeting with new suppliers for his new restaurant so he won’t be around. He left yesterday, I think.”
“Are you going to quit?” I know it was her dream to work at Austen’s until she could get enough money for her place. But I also know that her grandma left her a nice inheritance when she passed a few months ago, so I don’t know what would be stopping her.
“Not yet.” She looks away from me as she says it. “I can’t.”
“If you need money…” I start to say but she shakes her head, which is probably a good thing. I’ve been kind of reckless with my spending for the past two years, and I don’t have a ton left in my bank account. Even with money coming in from sponsors and my channel, I’ve got a team to pay and I don’t bring in a significant income these days.
“I don’t need money. I just can’t quit yet.”
“Why not?” I ask her as she sets a steaming plate in front of me.
“I made you my new chicken recipe I’ve been testing out. Let me know what you think,” she says without answering my question.
“Annie,” I grab her hand as she starts to walk away. “Why won’t you quit?”
I see something like fear flash in her eyes. “I can’t. Not yet, but I will soon.”
I want to urge her to quit anyway, but something tells me that now is not the time for this conversation. So I wave my white flag, I’m not going to drop this, but I will today. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
16
ANNIE
April 2023 - Annie is 27, Sam is 28
Sam’s been back in New York City for three months and we hang out every single day. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I will say that I don’t completely hate it. We’re friends who live together and nothing more.
I’m the first one awake this morning, after we both fell asleep after watching all threeHunger Gamesmovies last night. I stretch, trying to get the kink in my neck out that I got from sleeping on the couch. I look over at Sam, his mouth slightly open and his arm bent above his head. We somehow fell asleep on opposite ends of the couch, and both seemed to sleep mostly comfortably. Well mostly, but I definitely need to try harder to make it back to my bed tonight. I resist the urge to touch him as he takes another sleepy breath, but he looks so peaceful. He’s finally stopped looking at me like something that’s about to break, and I’m grateful for that. But that shouldn’t make me want to touch him.
I sigh as I stand in the middle of the living room, watching him sleep. I wish he’d stop asking me when I’m going to quit my job.
I want to quit.
