Page 2 of Begin Again
I pull myself up to a standing position and slowly walk to the door, taking a deep breath as I grab the handle. I can do this.
I open the door and I swear I go weak at the knees. I clutch the doorknob like it’s my lifeline. Sam’s light blue eyes meet mine—searching my face—and my body goes warm. He grins at me, the smile that has always been just mine.
“Hey, sunshine,” he says and my entire body turns into complete jelly. “Can I come in?”
Not trusting my voice, I simply pull the door open wider and let my husband into the room.
PART 1
1
ANNIE
August 2010 - Annie is 14, Sam is 16
“I know that look.” My best friend Emily sits down in the chair across from me at the small table I’ve been reading at while she peruses the library shelves for the book she needs to read for English. School starts next week and she hasn’t done any of the reading yet.
“What look?” I slide my bookmark into my well-worn copy ofEmmaand look at her.
“The look that says you’re mad at your mom again and you’re trying to forget about how awful she is by readingEmma. Again.”
I frown.
“See. I know I'm right.” Emily drops the heavy classic,Huckleberry Finn,on the table.
“Is that the large print edition?” I ask. Better to talk about books than to think about the fight I had with Mom this morning. I’d pretty much rather do anything than think about Mom. I’m only fourteen and I’m already daydreaming about the day when I can go to college or at least move out. Too bad I don’tknow what I like yet, other than books. But I don’t know if you can study books in college.
She nods. “The only copy they have left.”
“I read it in June.” I’m not trying to be smug about it, but she really shouldn’t have waited this long.
Emily rolls her eyes. “Of course you did. You are the nerd in this friendship.”
I smile, secretly pleased, though I’d never dare call myself a nerd. The popular girls don’t need me to give myself a nickname. The kids at school already call me Freckles because of all the freckles that cover my skin—which isn’t exactly all that original, but it’s better than being dubbed the class nerd. “I prefer the term bookworm, but I’ll take it I guess.”
Emily’s laugh echoes through the quiet library. I glance around but no one is paying attention to us. She stares at the thick book in front of her. “Is this book even any good?”
“I am the wrong person to ask.” She knows I have a fondness for classic books, so of course I thought it was good. I fell in love with old books back before Dad left our family and Mom used to read to me and Noah every night. I visit Narnia at least once a year and I’m a huge fan of Anne Shirley, after all, she’s kind of my namesake.
“Can you believe we start school next week?” She changes the subject again and pulls me away from thoughts of all the books I love and brings me to my second love, school. “And we’ll officially be freshmen!”
“I am excited for school.” I twist my hands in my lap, not saying anything else. Emily knows that I’ve been fighting with Mom all summer. Mom got a new boyfriend and he’s been stinking up the house because all he does is smoke, drink beer, and watch our TV. Mom told me I needed to be nicer to Jeff, but he’s a lazy jerk, so why should I have to be nice? At least he’s better than her last boyfriend, if that’s even possible.
So yeah, I’m excited about school starting because it means I can spend most of my time away from home and I’ll have homework to do when I am there. Plus, I love learning. Emily on the other hand is excited for completely different reasons.
“Do you think there will be any cute boys this year?” She gets that dreamy look in her eyes, the one she always gets when she’s thinking about her latest crush or the opportunity she’ll have next week to have a new crush.
I scrunch my nose. “There's more to life than boys.”
“There’s more to life than books,” she retorts.
We’re sitting at a table right by the library entrance and before I can say something back to Emily, a guy walks into the library and I watch as Emily sits up a little straighter while I lean back in my chair trying to be invisible. But I can’t pry my eyes away from him as he walks into the library.
We live in a small town and I’ve never seen him before. He's got dark brown hair and he's wearing a faded gray T-shirt. His jaw isn’t sharp, like jaws are often described in books, but he looks almost as if he’s still got a baby face. At least, he looks a little boyish and I’ll be the first to admit that this guy is attractive. In a best friend sort of way. But that’s all I’ll ever admit.
I’ve seen Mom date so many stupid men and get hurt and screwed over by them that I already know I never want a boyfriend or a husband. Emily on the other hand? She’s probably fantasizing already about how many kids she and this guy will have once they get married in seven years.
The guy glances over to our table and our eyes meet. He’s younger than I realized, probably my age or Noah’s age. Even with the ten or so feet between us, I can already tell he has the bluest eyes of anyone I’ve ever seen. I give him a friendly, but embarrassed smile and then look back to Emily who’s already waving the boy over, because of course she is. She didn’t evenlast ten seconds before wanting to introduce herself to him. I hold back an eye-roll.
