Page 13 of Begin Again
July 2012 - Sam is 17, Annie is 16
“Shouldn't we go do something?” I ask. Noah is lying on his bed, flipping through a college brochure and wondering whether or not the college he picked is actually a good pick for him. “You already got in. You don’t need to be doing this.”
“But I just need…” Noah starts, but I can’t sit still anymore.
I jump up. “Come on, man. Let’s go see if Annie is doing anything with her friends today.”
Noah gives me the look that I’ve been getting every time I suggest we hang out with Annie and her friends. I told him that I liked her friend Emily because I couldn’t tell him the truth—I’m falling in love with and will probably always love his sister. I’m fairly certain that Annie knows exactly how I feel, but I haven’t told her. I’ve never been exactly good at hiding my feelings, and the two of us have hung out a lot over the past year.
I know she’s not interested in dating anyone, ever. I’m not dumb enough to believe that I could be an exception, but I can’t seem to get my feelings to go away so I’ve stopped trying. I am in love with someone who will never love me back. Since Ijust graduated and I don’t know where life will take me yet, I’m trying to spend as many days with Annie as I can this summer.
“I think Annie said she, Emily, and Lainy were going to the bowling alley in Greeley today,” Noah says, still looking at the pamphlet on his bed.
Perfect. I snatch the paper away from him. “Okay, let’s go see. I’m tired of sitting around. I’ll even drive.”
It’s true, I don’t like sitting around. That’s the exact reason I’m putting off college for another year. I’m going to travel and start a vlogging YouTube channel before I decide what I want to do for school. See if traveling sparks any ideas. Wait and see where Annie ends up going to college, in a friend’s kind of way.
“Fine.” Noah sighs. “But you owe me.”
I slap his neck as he stands up. “Owe you for what? Saving you from being glued to a college brochure all day?”
“Annie!” Noah yells as soon as we’re out of his room, ignoring my comment. She appears in the hallway wearing a long, yellow sundress that’s sleeveless. I wish I could count—or kiss—the freckles on her arms and shoulders, but if I told her or Noah that, they’d probably think I was a creep. Maybe I am a creep. Friends don’t think those kinds of thoughts about their friends and I can be her friend.
She’s also got her nose in a worn copy ofEmma, her favorite classic. “Hmm?” she asks, not even looking up at us.
“When are you going bowling?” Noah asks her.
“At one,” she answers, without taking her eyes off the page.
I glance at the clock on my phone. “It’s twelve-thirty now.”
“Okay,” she says.
An awkward silence fills the hallway. Noah jumps in when I don’t say a word. “Can we come?”
I give him a thankful smile and look back at her.
She eyes both of us, but her gaze settles on me, warming me from my head to my toes. “Are you bored?”
“Extremely bored, sunshine.” I love how her cheeks flush slightly at my nickname for her. It’s still new, but I like using it. The feeling I get knowing I flustered her slightly is a high I’ll be riding for weeks.
“Sam wants to hang out with Emily,” Noah says and I see her smile dim slightly for a second, but then she’s back to her usual happy self.
I wonder if I should tell her the truth. I wonder if it would change anything.
I didn’t say I wanted to hang out with Emily, but if I can keep Noah’s suspicion off where my desires truly lie, all the better. At least until Annie graduates. Then it won’t matter, because she’ll be an adult and out of her mom’s house. And I’ll officially be an adult too. Being the youngest in my grade has always bothered me, but that’s what happens when your birthday is at the end of July. But right now, I don’t care as much, because I’m still only seventeen.
She rolls her eyes. “Of course he does. You guys can come, but Sam has to drive.”
“Sure thing,” I say.
Ten minutes later, we’re all piled in my truck. It’s days like this I’m grateful I can lift up the center console to create another seat. Annie is squished into that extra seat next to me with Emily in the passenger seat. Noah, Lainy, and Lainy’s younger brother are in the back seat. Annie still has her book out.
“Will you please put that away?” Emily asks her. “I thought you said you wouldn’t bring a book.”
“I’ll leave it in the truck,” Annie answers as she flips a page. I need to readEmmaso I have some sort of idea about why she loves it so dang much. She reads it multiple times a year.
“I’m glad you all came,” Emily says, looking at me and then back at everyone in the back seat. “It’ll give me someone to talk to when Annie brings her book inside the bowling alley.”
