Page 61 of The Luck of Finding You
I know I’ve made the right choice by not letting him kiss me. But why does it also feel like I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life?
Noah goes back to his own bed and grabs his phone. “I’m going to take a walk, clear my head. I’ll be back soon.” He leaves without another word.
I message Mo to tell him that I’m wearing a dark-pink dress with matching heels and ask to meet him at 5:45 at the main entrance. Guilt prickles through me the entire time I send the message. What am I even doing? Stringing two guys along? That’s not who I am. I have to figure this out. Hopefully, by the end of the night, I’ll have my answer.
22
NOAH
The tension in the air when I get back to the room is palpable. I have to come clean. I’ve almost told Tally three times today that I’m Mo, but I keep chickening out. And the longer I wait, the worse it’s going to be.
“Tally, I need to tell you something.”
She’s watching something on her laptop, so she takes out her earbud and looks at me. I’m standing way too close to her bed because there isn’t really a place for me to stand.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything,” Tally says, and I stare at her. Nothing is okay, and it won’t be okay until I tell her that I am Mo. “I’m sorry that I’m putting you through all of this,” she continues, not giving me a chance to speak. “If I were in your shoes, I would be so upset too. It’s not fair at all, and I’m sorry.”
Tally isn’t wrong, but because I was so focused on what I was going to say and not expecting her apology, I don’t end up saying anything.
“I’m going to go get something from the vending machine. I’ll be back soon.” Tally gives my arm a squeeze as she passes me.
I should grab her and pull her into my arms and tell her everything, but for some reason I cannot understand, I’m frozen in place until she’s gone.
“UGH!” I throw myself onto the bed. “I’m actually Mo. See? It’s not hard to say those words!”
So why can’t I tell her in person?
I pull out my phone like the giant chicken I am.
MoReads:Sounds like a good plan. See you then.
I don’t want to feel this way, with jealousy coursing through my body and shame for not telling her right underneath the jealousy.
She’s still going to meet him. Even after our day together. Even after I keep admitting my feelings. I shouldn’t be jealous. We’ve been talking online for two years; she has every right to want to meet her online friend. I’m regretting not having told her earlier though. I should have just come clean as soon as I figured it out, and then we could have enjoyed this weekend a whole lot more.
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I can’t do it. I can’t show up as Mo.
Annie
YOU HAVEN’T TOLD HER THE TRUTH YET!? YOU CANNOT LEAVE HER HANGING.
Sam
She’s right, you have to tell her.
I think she’s going be really mad that it’s me, especially now that she’s told me the guy she’s meeting is named Mo. Like, why didn’t I tell her then???
Annie
Yeah, why didn’t you??
Sam
You should get her flowers or something.
Annie
