Page 57 of The Luck of Finding You
I let out a relieved and grateful breath. “I’ll be out in a second.” I run my fingers through my curls, trying to convince myself that the only reason I’m putting more effort into my look today is because I’m meeting Mo later, as well as my favorite author. It has nothing to do with the fact that the next eight hours are just Noah and me.
I put everything but my curling iron back into my toiletries bag, which I leave on the spacious vanity so it can cool off, and then head out into the room that now smells like grease and hash browns. My mouth waters.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d get for breakfast, so I got a few burritos, cinnamon rolls, a couple hash browns, and pancakes. Pick whatever you’d like.” Noah has all the food spread out on his bed, which I notice he’s made. It looks so tidy next to my unmade bed. I move over to my bed, pulling the covers up so that I won’t get crumbs in the sheets. Then I face the food.
I grab a burrito, two hash browns, and a cinnamon roll and take my food to my own bed. “This is the weirdest hotel ever.”
“No, ‘thanks for the food, Noah’? Just going to keep mentioning the hotel?” Noah asks, but he’s smiling. Teasing me again.
“Fanks for the food,” I say through a mouthful of hash brown. I swallow. “I swear the pictures online looked a lot nicer.”
“To be completely honest, I thought I was getting a room with two queen beds, a desk, and a deck.” We both glance to the window that can’t be more than two feet wide and a foot tall. There is no deck outside that window. We’re on the backside of the hotel. The front looked like the pictures I remember looking at.
“Not exactly what they promised,” I say, then I laugh. I must still be tired because once I start laughing, I can’t seem to stop.
Noah smiles, but he clearly can’t figure out what’s going on in my head.
“I’m sorry,” I say, trying to catch my breath. “Nothing is even funny. Everything about this isn’t funny and yet…”
I continue to laugh after my very bad explanation. Why can’t I be normal around this man? Why am I laughing like a toddler hyped up on sugar?
“Are you ready for tonight?” Noah asks, and I sober immediately.
“I think so,” I say, reality rushing into me. I don’t do this. I’m not the girl who goes out of her way to meet internet strangers. I’m not the girl who kisses one guy one week and then goes out to meet another the next week. What am I doing? Would Mom be freaking out if she were still here?
“I just hope that you get everything you want,” Noah says quietly. I swallow and a piece of the hash brown scratches my throat. Somehow I manage not to cough. I grab my water to swallow the rush of emotion I feel that is more painful than the food.
His eyes haven’t left me since I sat down, and I shift, feeling hot all over.
“I hope so too,” I tell him, even though I’m not exactly sure what it is I want.
“Just remember that he’s not going to be perfect.” This comment surprises me and reminds me of Olivia’s words. “You might have hyped him up in your head, and he might not be what you expect. Just know that’s okay.”
I try to hold back my confusion. I don’t understand, but from what Noah’s saying, it’s like he wants me to like Mo and that he’s worried I won’t.
“I’ve most definitely hyped him up in my head. I used to do that a lot; I’d jump way ahead and plan a whole future with someone that I’d never even talked to. I like to think I’ve gotten it more under control.”
Noah nods as if he understands exactly what I’m talking about.
“But I will keep an open mind, and I promise to tell you everything I’m feeling so that I don’t hurt you. Or him.” It’s a huge promise to make, but I feel like I can’t go through any of this unless I put it all out on the table.
“Either way, someone will get hurt.” The heartache in Noah’s words makes me lose my appetite completely.
I push away the half-eaten cinnamon roll and untouched burrito.
“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. I know you told this guy you’d meet him before you and I ever had a conversation about our feelings.” Noah’s apology jars me, but it doesn’t completely take away my guilt. “I just hope you get everything you want.”
To his repeated words, I simply nod. I want to go back to a couple of minutes ago, before the air in the room felt heavy. “I hope so too.”
“What do you want to do today?” Noah moves away from our more intense conversation, and disappointment hits me like a ton of bricks, even though the feelings don’t make any sense. I want to make sense of it, but I don’t think Noah is going to want to talk about my feelings until after I’ve met Mo.
“No idea,” I say, reminding myself that for today, we can be friends. I can do friends. It’s more than we’ve been since he got here. Too bad I don’t really know how to be someone’s friend. It’s been too long since I started a new friendship. “We could always explore the creepy hotel.”
Noah laughs. All the tension he was holding a moment ago is completely gone. “Then we’ll for sure end up inThe Shining.”
“I told you it was creepy.” My eyes widen. “Did I not tell you it was creepy?”
“You were right.” Noah says. “We could go catch a movie, go to the outlet mall, hike.”
