Page 43 of The Luck of Finding You
“Tally, wait.” Noah follows me. “We should talk about this.”
What is there to talk about? I kissed him and then made it sound like I cheated on another guy with him. I should come clean. Tell Noah I exaggerated because everything about this makes me nervous. Tell Mo that I started dating someone and can’t meet him. But I don’t. I can’t seem to say anything.
I never understood while reading all those romances—and about moments like this—how you can feel so much passion one second and so much regret the next. Now I understand it.
“You should meet that guy before you decide anything.” Noah breaks the silence and a tiny part of my heart cracks too. I want him to fight for me, to ask me to pick him. Instead, my heart and my head are ping-ponging back and forth, and I don’t know what to say because I don’t know what I’m feeling.
I should have told him I needed time. That I need space to figure this all out so I can stop saying things I don’t mean. I shouldn’t have kissed him.
“Then, after you’ve met him, we can give us a try, if that’s what you want.” Noah’s voice cracks a little. I want to run to him, to change my mind about what I just said. Instead, I put my wall back up.
“Right. Okay. Sorry.” I can’t get hurt if there’s nothing to hurt. I scan the room for my shoes. Where did I take them off?
My eyes unwillingly land on Noah, who looks so broken standing there, making me regret my harsh apology.
“Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen,” I say stiffly. I turn around, see my shoes sitting right by the door, and make my way toward them. “We can be friends until…after.”
“Tally.” Noah grabs my hand, tugging me so that I turn ever so slightly. His eyes make me feel like I’ve been lost in a forest for weeks and finally found a clearing that feels like home. “We don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen…”
“I think we should,” I say, the words rough on my tongue. Why am I acting like the one who’s been hurt here?
Noah drops my hand as if he’s been scalded.
“I have to go,” I say, and then I’m out the door and flying down the stairs. I don’t look back because I know that if I see Noah’s face again right now, I’ll burst into tears.
17
NOAH
TheNoraReview:Ever do something that makes your head and heart so confused? That’s what happened to me last night.
MoReads:Want to talk about it?
TheNoraReview:Not yet. Maybe later though. Just trying to figure things out.
MoReads:Let me know when or if you want to talk. You know I’m always here.
“Tally is Nora,” I blurt into the phone as soon as Annie picks up, running my hand through my hair. I’ve done that so many times today, it’s a miracle I have any hair on my head. It’s Saturday morning and I made myself eat breakfast and walk Mo before I called Annie. I tried Sam first, but he didn’t answer. “Well, I don’t know that for sure, for sure, but I’m pretty sure they’re the same person.”
“Why would you think that?” Annie sounds tired, even though it’s not even noon in New York.
“Last night she came over and we hung out for a few hours.” I want to give Annie the short version, just enough to get her caught up so that she can confirm or disprove my suspicion. “We ended up talking for a while. I told her about the camping trip and asked her what she would regret tomorrow if she didn’t do it today.”
“Okay.” Annie seems distant.
“You all right, Annie?” I ask. My story can wait if there’s something going on. My problem really isn’t that big of a deal.
“I’m fine, Noah,” she says, and I wish I’d FaceTimed her instead so I could actually see her face. “It was a crazy, busy week at work, and I’m ready to sit around and do nothing all weekend.”
“You sure?” I push, because my gut tells me that there’s more going on than what she’s telling me.
“I’m sure,” Annie says. “Do you need me to send you a selfie so you know that I also look fine?”
“Would you?”
“Why’d I have to get the protective older brother?” Annie grumbles.
“Hey, you know you love it.”
