Page 23 of The Luck of Finding You
TALLY
TheNoraReview:What do you do to calm down when you’re about to do something totally nerve-racking, not like speaking in front of hundreds of people, but my heart kind of feels like that’s what is about to happen?
MoReads:Take a deep breath. (I know. Worst advice ever, but I swear it’ll help.)
MoReads:I also like to think of a favorite memory. Visiting the lake we went to when I was younger, making one of my friends smile, the time I was totally spontaneous and had the best day of my life. Remembering those times usually help me feel calm. Hope that helps. And good luck with your not-speaking or whatever!
It’s Tuesday night and I’m buzzing with a nervous energy. The Book Shop is closed to customers, and Noah and I are waiting for the book club ladies to arrive. Olivia opted out tonight because one of her friends from college is in town. She left me alone with Noah about ten minutes ago. I’ve been pacing at the front of the shop ever since.
I’m trying to think of a happy memory, per Mo’s suggestion, but the only one that keeps coming to mind is that afternoon with Noah, probably because Mo mentioned something about being spontaneous and I immediately thought of that afternoon. In the past it has been a memory that makes me calm (as long as I pretend it didn’t end the way it did). But tonight, thinking about Noah’s lips on mine and how he lit up every time he smiled at me or tugged me closer isn’t helping.
Instead, the memory, combined with the fact that all of my favorite people are about to meet Noah, makes me want to throw up. I’m fluttering around the store, tucking in scattered books as a distraction. For some reason it felt different tonight when I shut and locked the door. Maybe because Olivia is normally here. Or maybe because ever since Noah came back into my life, my feelings have been all over the place.
Noah was always my “what might have been” guy, and now he’s sitting on the red couch in the back of the shop, in my usual spot, and I’m not sure if I want to go yell at him or kiss him. Either way, both thoughts scare me.
“I know that look.” I whirl around to find Shirley standing in the doorway. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I missed the chime of the bell.
“What look?” I can totally play this off.
“You’ve got man trouble.” Shirley grins at me. All of the ladies in book club, Marsha included, have always tried to set me up with their grandsons or their friends’ grandsons. But I don’t date and they know that.
“Who has man trouble?” Gracie hollers as she, Pam, and Collene all push their way into the shop.
All four women stare at me. I try to divert their attention away from me and my unfortunately obvious men problems. “Not me. Where’s Donna?”
“Parking the car.” Pam closes in on me, not skipping a beat. “Now what’s this about man trouble?”
“Don’t know.” Even though I do know. Even though these ladies would definitely be able to help me out of this sticky mess I seem to have found myself in. But Noah is in the shop, and I’m not one to talk about my men troubles.
“She’s lying.” Collene pats my shoulder as she passes by me and heads toward the back couch that is now surrounded by a few folding chairs set up for those of us who don’t make it back there quick enough.
I’m saved from responding because Donna chooses that moment to enter the store. “I have chips and salsa!” Food is always provided by The Book Shop, one of Marsha’s hard-and-fast rules about the book club, but Donna usually ends up bringing something. Usually whatever she’s been craving.
“Tally’s got men problems,” Shirley tells her. They are not going to let this go, are they?
“Men really are the worst. I raised three boys on my own, now they’re decent men, but still men,” Gracie chimes in, helpful as always.
“I. Do. Not. Have. Men. Problems,” I say through gritted teeth. But Collene has made it to the couch.
Where Noah is sitting.
“Who are you?” I hear her ask. “Gals, there’s a gentleman here. Maybe he can tell us about Tally’s man trouble. Are you the one causing her problems?”
Noah laughs, a deep chuckle that I feel all the way to my toes.
Noah is definitely causing me problems.
I haven’t seen him since Saturday, thanks to Olivia telling me I could go early yesterday and not to come in until this afternoon today. But still, he’s a big, bad distraction.
“There’s a man here?” Donna and Pam nearly run to see him, as if they’ve never seen a man before. As if they don’t both have husbands at home. Shirley is still watching me closely.
“Who’s this fine gentleman?” Gracie wraps an arm around me.
“Marsha’s grandson.” Thankfully, that’s the truth. I don’t have to talk about our past at all. If I can get through the next hour without any of the ladies reading my face and all the secret feelings I’ve been trying to bury that I have for Noah, everything will be just fine.
“Oh, that’s sweet of him to come help out.” Gracie gives me another squeeze. Marsha’s death was hard on all of us, but Gracie had known her the longest. They’d been friends since they were in high school.
“Marsha left him the shop.”
