Page 90 of Hush Darling
“Why does one have to be fake?”
“Because it does! If you stay here, you’d be giving up that life. If you leave, you’d go back to living like a modest little church mouse. Either way, you lose something.”
“We all lose something. It’s called growing up.”
“No. You could have it all if you admitted what you actually wanted.”
“I haven’t figured out what I want yet.”
“So you’ll go back and pretend you’re satisfied until you do?”
“Everyone’s pretending on some level.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re different.”
“Because I’m honest. Think about what you’re saying, Wendy. What does your life matter if it’s filled with lies and you have to pretend you're someone else?” He pulled her to his lap. “If you stayed with me, you could be yourself.”
“As long as I don’t oppose you?—”
“No, even if you disagreed with me, I’d accept you.” He nuzzled her ear and whispered, “I’d take care of you, see to all your needs, and you could see to mine.”
She clung to him. “To what end?”
“Why should there be an end? Why can’t it be forever?”
“We barely know each other.”
“That’s part of the adventure. We’ll learn each other’s secrets. You could teach me things. And I could teach you.”
“What do I know that you don’t?”
“Plenty.”
Until today, he didn’t know what it felt like to be washed by a gentle set of hands. He didn’t know how soundly he could sleep with her by his side. He didn’t know that he wanted the things he never had until she gave him a glimpse of how such kindness could feel.
She shook her head. “You’ll grow tired of me.”
“No.” The lump in his throat made it nearly impossible to speak. “You could teach me how to love.”
“James…” She looked away, and he felt her pulling back, but he wasn’t ready to let her go.
“You were right,” he confessed. “I have secrets. But I’m willing to give them all to you if you give me this one thing. I can change?—”
“People don’t change.”
“Then love me the way I am. Is there some part of me that you could learn to love?”
“James…”
He couldn’t bear more excuses, so he kissed her possessively, showing her how much he was willing to lay his soul bare to keep her here. “Stay with me.”
“I—”
He needed more time to convince her. If he kept kissing her, she’d see.
“Stop! This isn’t you!” She shoved him back and covered her abused lips. “You’re not a man who begs.”
