Page 95 of Hush Darling
“No. There’s ego, and then there’s narcissism. When Peter’s not the center of attention, he’s dangerous and cruel.”
“Perhaps you’re being a bit harsh. He did rescue you, Wendy.”
“I wasn’t a prisoner. I could have left. He was going to let me leave.”
Her mother gave her a look of doubt. “I understand how confusing these situations can become. You did what you had to do to survive, but you’re not in danger anymore. Perhaps there’s someone you could talk to. I’m sure the memories are overwhelming.”
“Sure. Whatever.” She wiped her nose and sniffled. No one would ever believe her that James had come around. As much as he wanted her to stay, she knew in her heart he would have let her leave. He said himself that he didn’t believe in captivity and had no desire to keep her caged.
“But you shouldn’t blame Peter, dear. From what I understand, he did everything in his power to help you.”
She took a calming breath. This back-and-forth was useless. Her parents only heard what they wanted to hear. “I will never let that man near me again.”
“You’re upset.”
“Yes, Mother. I’m upset. Now, please leave me alone. I just want everyone to leave me alone.” She rolled to her side, turning her back on her mother as she left the bedroom.
Eventually, her father stopped yelling, and the front door slammed. Wendy closed her eyes, counting down the seconds before her peace was disrupted again.
Three…
Two—
Her father tapped the door, not waiting for an invitation to barge in. “I want you washed and downstairs in one hour. Leave those clothes for the maid. We’ll see that they’re incinerated.”
Wendy sat up. “Father…”
He looked away with unrestrained fury. “It’s too far, Wendy. Too far.”
She wasn’t going to make an excuse, just an apology. “I’m sorry for making you worry.”
His mouth firmed into a flat line. “Sorry won’t replace what you lost. You’ll realize that soon enough.”
She balled her hands into fists. “I didn’t lose anything. I’m still me.”
He shook his head. “People will hear about this. Your good reputation won’t hold, and once it’s gone, your options will dwindle.”
She was tired of having her value tied to her virtue, which invalidly dictated her choices. Men made far worse decisions and saw no consequences. She was through with the double standards. “I can make my own opportunities if I have to.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “You’ll have to. We’ll discuss more on the subject after you’ve cleaned yourself up.” With that final reminder, he shut the door.
When she changed out of her clothes, she didn’t give them to Liza. Instead, she folded them into a small ball and hid them inside the window seat. They were all she had left of James, and burning his belongings was simply too painful to bear.
Sitting through her father’s lecture had been an exercise in zoning out. She thought about how she used to climb trees and run around the yard barefoot with her belly out, equally as free as her brothers. Then one day, she was told to calm down, stand up straight, and suck in her stomach. She’d been holding her breath ever since.
Her image had become a reflection of others, a responsibility, and a detached part of herself. Who she pretended to be and how she carried herself in public was all that mattered. No one cared what was on the inside.
She’d been burying the unsavory parts of herself for so long, it was no wonder James had a hard time drawing them out. Since he’d freed her of her inhibitions, her old life no longer felt as natural as it once had because the person they molded her to be was not anywhere near the person she actually was inside.
As if trying to fit into clothes she’d long ago outgrown, coming home left her uncomfortable with her options and panicked to find other solutions. She was no longer that tame bird in a cage. She’d had a taste of freedom, enough to know she wanted more.
It took a whole week for her father to bear her presence without turning and walking away in disgust, but even then, he refused to meet her eyes. As suspected, rumors got out about her wild night in the Never Lands, and then came the judgmental stares and indiscreet whispers.
It took a lifetime for some to be welcomed by society, but one improper move and a girl could be canceled in a blink. Forever.
By the end of the month, Wendy had moved from a respectable daughter position into total pariah territory. Strangers avoided her. Acquaintances shunned her. Exaggerated stories deformed the truth so much that her excuses were irrelevant. No one cared about the truth. Only James.
The most infuriating thing, however, was how little this impacted Peter’s life. He wasn’t branded a jezebel or called a criminal. No one knew the horrible things he’d done. They had their sacrificial lamb, and that was all they needed, apparently. And slaughter her reputation they did.
