Page 87 of Hush Darling
“If you tell him what we did, he won’t care. I was being honest when I told you I’m nothing to him.”
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
“Yes. But it will still matter to him.”
“He’s engaged to someone else.”
“Nevertheless, he wanted you, and I got to you first.”
“So I guess you won whatever game you’re playing.”
It didn’t feel like winning.
The silence stretched between them.
“What’s going to happen to me?”
He turned to fully face her. “What do you want to happen?” This was uncharted territory.
“I can’t go back to who I used to be.”
He didn’t want her to go back. Period. “Life isn’t easy at sea.” She was cut out for better. They both knew it, and they needed to accept that their association had an end date. “It’s draining and rough on even the hardest men.”
“Do you ever go home?”
“I don’t have a home. For two decades, the sea has been all I’ve known. I trust how absolutely unpredictable she can be, and therefore, I’m never disappointed.”
“But you’re more than twenty years old. Where did you live before then?”
Was he honestly allowing her to question him? “A place worse than hell.”
“Saint Mercy’s Home for Orphaned Boys?”
He stilled. “Where did you hear that?”
“The Lost Boys talked about the orphanage where they met Peter. Were you there too?”
He looked away, preferring not to see those memories right now. They were all lost boys, some a little more lost than others.
“Please tell me. I just want to understand you. I’d never betray your confidence.”
Like a tower of bricks, he shuddered before his boundaries came tumbling down. “Peter was my brother.”
Her eyes widened. “Because you were both in the same orphanage?”
“No, because we both shared the same mom. He’s my blood.”
“But your last name’s Hook.”
“Right. So was his at one time, before the Pangbournes adopted him.” James kept his stare on the water, his memories flashing back to that horrible time. “Once we were separated, it took me a lifetime to find him. I didn’t know his new name or where he moved.”
“But you did find him.”
“Yes. And when I finally crossed his path again, he looked right through me as if I truly were a ghost from his past.”
“I’m sorry.” She rested her hand on his.
