Page 78 of Fangs
“I didn’t… didn’twantto be with him,” I choked out.
“That’s not what I heard,” Wolf replied, his voice maddeningly flat.
I knew the sort of rumors he’d probably heard. I’d had them sneered at me every damn day. The thought of him hearing them made helpless rage ignite deep in my stomach. No wonder he saw a twisted monster when he looked at me.
“You don’t knoweverythin’,Wolf.”
“Then tell me.” Everything about him was blank—his voice, his face. It was like he’d locked everything away.
“What, do you want all the horrible details?”
“If it’s the truth, then yes.”
A furious desperation to crack through his blank mask gripped me. He wanted to know? He wanted the truth? Fine. Lethimdrown in it.
“Which details do you want, Wolf? You want me to tell you about howluckyI was that he only beat me and starved me for the first few years because he thought my powers were tied to my virginity? You want to hear how he was so furious after I tried to run away with my only friend, so convinced we must’ve been secretly fucking, that he decided to risk it? You want to know I was fourteen when he raped me for the first time? Should I describe how he was still covered in my friend’s blood—my friend who wastorturedfor a whole fucking day before he died? You want to know Juck panicked when he realized I was bleeding, that I’d been tellin’ the truth about still bein’pure,” I spat the word out with venom, “so he cut his arm and told me to heal him? And when I couldn’t stop hyperventilating enough to do it, he broke my nose and told me he’d let the Reapers have me astheirwhore if I’d lost my powers.”
Wolf’s face had paled, and his nostrils flared, jaw flexing. His fists looked like they were clenched as tightly as mine, but I could see the cracks appearing in his mask, and I went after them with a vicious fixation.
“Is that enoughdetailfor you, or do you want to hear about the thousands of other times it happened for the nexteight years?”
Next to me, Sam swore low and furious under his breath. I didn’t dare look at any of Wolf’s crew, but I could tell they all stood unnaturally still.
“Iknowthey said I liked it, that I provoked him, that I got off on him hurting me. Iknowthey called me his plaything, his scavenger slut. Iknowthey said I was desperate for his dick and that Ilovedhim. You think they didn’t throw all that shit in my face any chance they got? Thetruthis I gave up.” A wild, bitter laugh escaped my lips. “So there—there’s your godsdamned truth. Thetruthis I tried to fight like you taught me, and Ilost. I wasn’t strong enough, and hebrokeme. And IknowI’m pathetic, but I stopped fighting him ’cause it was real fuckin’ clearno onecared, andno onewas comin’ to save me.”
Wolf inhaled sharply through his teeth, and I knew he heard what I didn’t say—that I’d realizedhewasn’t coming to save me. He started shaking his head, a slow back-and-forth movement, but the spiderweb cracks in his mask widened until I could see the raw pain underneath. I thought it would make me feel better to force him to understand, but it didn’t. The utter silence of the room began to wash away my anger and crush my lungs. Tremors ran through my whole body.
“So yes, Iwashiswhore,”I spit the word at him, trying to hold onto that anger, and Wolf flinched. “IwashisAngel, and you know what? I spent every day prayin’ that maybe next time he’d get carried away and accidentally kill me. At least then, it’d be over. You think I need to suffer for Dune’s death? Well, good news, I’ve been livin’ inhellthis entire time.”
I couldn’t be in this room any longer. I turned on my heel and fled out the door. No one moved to stop me, and as soon as I was outside, I started to run.
I wanted to return to Trey’s grave, but I knew they’d look there first. So, instead, I let my feet take me to the stables.
The horses were all in the pasture when I arrived, breathless and shaking. Violet’s head popped up as I slid under the fence, and she whinnied at me as she trotted over. She sniffed at Trey’s shirt I wore and looked expectantly behind me. The pain in my chest made it hard to breathe.
“He’s not comin’ back,” I whispered, stroking her neck. “He’s gone.”
She twisted to huff a warm breath in my hair.
“He’s gone,” I said again, and then I was sobbing.
She didn’t move as I buried my face in her warm coat and wrapped my arms around her neck. The future that stretched out before me seemed so bleak. The only life I’d ever dared to want was built in his shape. I couldn’t see a future without him. I didn’twanta future without him.
I heard footsteps approaching, and I felt Violet turn to look, but I didn’t lift my head.
“Well, I don’t know why you were dreadin’ that,” a familiar voice deadpanned. “That was so much fun.”
I turned to glare at Sam, who was stroking Violet’s nose. He dug in his pocket and pulled out another handkerchief.
“How many of these do I have to give you ‘fore you start carryin’ them yourself?”
“I’m not wearin’anyof my own clothes,” I mumbled, taking it.
“Yeah, when do I get to hearthatstory?” Sam grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.
“There’s nothin’ to hear,” I muttered, wiping at my face.
“I doubt that.”
