Page 56 of Fangs
“Most often, though, you thought you were under the watchtower.”
My stomach churned, but Griz grabbed my hand and squeezed. I met his eyes, startled.
Griz’s voice came out rough. “I knew you hated what Madame made you do, but it wasn’t until you were feverishlybeggin’me to get you out of there that I realized you never once asked for help all those months.”
The pain in his eyes threatened to undo me, and I dropped my gaze back to the blanket.
“If youwantedto ask us for help but didn’t feel like you could, I’m so sorry, Bones.”
I picked at the blanket with my free hand. “It’s not like you could’ve done anythin’ about it.”
“Maybe not, but I still wish you’d felt safe enough to ask.”
Trey’s words echoed.We’re not the Reapers. We’ve been tryin’ to show you that for the past, what, six months?
“I know you were tryin’,” I whispered, misery filling me. “It’s my fault I didn’t trust you.”
“What?”
His voice was sharp enough to startle me. Sam glanced at him, too, eyebrows raised.
“Trey said you’d all been tryin’ to show me you weren’t the Reapers.”
“Did he say it was your fault?”
I backpedaled, trying to remember the exact words Trey had used, “No, not…he didn’t say that. He was just frustrated I wasn’t lettin’ him in…lettin’ all of you in.”
“If he didn’t make it real clear, then let me,” Griz gentled his voice, but his eyes were still sharp. “Trust is somethin’ that has to be earned, and it takes everybody different lengths of time to get there. There’s no right or wrong amount of time, alright? I don’t know everythin’ you went through with the Reapers, but it’s enough to know that you trusting usat allmeans you probably had to fight some fuckin’ battles up here.” He leaned forward and tapped my forehead with one finger.
I stared at him, tears welling up.
“Trey was a good man. I loved him like a brother, and I miss him every fuckin’ day.” Griz’s voice grew rough with emotion. “When he loved, he loved hard, but he always struggled to understand people who were more guarded.”
I didn’t know what to say. I felt defensive but also strangely relieved. And that realization came with suffocating guilt. Ishouldbe defensive of Trey. All he ever did was love me, and he died for it.
“You should talk to Mac about this sometime,” Griz continued. “He and Trey butted heads a lot about this.”
I blinked, surprised. I’d assumed Trey and Mac knew everything about each other, but then I remembered those scars on Mac’s back.He didn’t know she was still doing it.
Griz released my hand, and the three of us sat in silence for a while. My thoughts tumbled over each other, and I struggled not to cry. After I swiped at my face with my sleeve, Sam shifted, pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, and handed it to me.
“I’m takin’ all your kerchiefs,” I mumbled, but I took it.
“You tookonekerchief almost a year ago,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And you didn’t take it. I gave it to you.”
I barely heard him, my eyes focusing on the slight tremor in Sam’s hands. I reached for his hand, and he smiled at me but then frowned when I flipped his hand over and started taking his pulse.
“Are you feelin’ alright?” I asked him.
“Are you seriously givin’mean examination right now?” he complained.
I studied his face, noting his gaunt appearance with growing worry. “Sam, I mean it. Have you been feelin’ alright?”
“Are you tryin’ to tell me I look like shit?” Sam demanded.
“You looksick,”I snapped.
“You’re one to talk,” he shot back.
