Page 255 of Fangs
I didn’t answer momentarily, but then the hoarse words escaped. “I miss him so much.”
“Trey?” he asked, and I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut as fresh tears rolled down my face. They were silent for a few seconds before Wolf said so gently, “I’m sorry you lost him.”
That apparently opened the floodgates because the words suddenly came spilling out of my mouth. Tearfully, I told them about Trey, about saving his life, the kittens and the dandelions, and how he had my back every time I needed him despite how cruel I was to him. I told them about our escape and capture. I told them about his death. I wasn’t sure why the words were coming to me now, but I didn’t try to hold them back.
“He healedme. I was so fucking stuck just tryin’ to survive, and he showed me how tolive. He never…never gave up on me, and he…he had every right to. He was always kind—always—and so patient. When I got swept away in that river, I realized I didn’t care if I died anymore.” My voice was a broken, fragile thing. “I was so tired of fighting to survive when all surviving did washurt, and I thought maybe…maybe if I died, I’d see him again.”
They were quiet for several breaths.
“Is that why you asked me to kill you?” Wolf asked roughly.
I hesitated, then mumbled, “Partly, yeah.”
“Do you still feel that way?” Kai surprised me by asking.
He was leaning forward in the chair, his elbows resting on his knees. His freckled face was solemn, but his eyes were no longer angry. I took a moment to think about it, and the answer came far more quickly than I expected. No, I didn’t want to die. I wanted to be here. I wanted to get to know my brother and the people he called family. I wanted to hear Apple giggle, kiss Lee again, help Roe find his place at the Vault, make Mac smile, and let Raven teach me how to fight the Voiceless. I wanted to keep healingpeople. I wanted tolive.
“No.” My voice came out thick with emotion. “I don’t feel that way anymore.”
I didn’t miss the shaky breath my brother released or the way his arms tightened around me. “Good, because I need your help figuring out why the fuck Pa lied to both of us.”
I pulled away enough to look up at him, my eyes widening. He told me he believed I didn’t kill Dune but believing me about what happened afterward—believingmeover Pa was something entirely different, something I never expected him to do.
He believed me.
Hereallybelieved me.
I must’ve said it out loud because he smiled sadly and said, “I really believe you. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”
I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him, tears streaming down my face. I had my brother back.
I had my brother back.
I could barely breathe through the sobs. I hadn’t realized how much this would mean to me, or maybe I’d refused to think about it since it seemed impossible. All I knew was the emotion flooding me was overwhelming. It felt almost as strong as the grief over losing Trey, but instead of pain, it wasjoy.
“I missed you so much,” I sobbed into his shoulder.
“Em, you have no idea how much I missed you.” His voice was choked with emotion.
The stubble from his beard scratched my face, and my chest ached from pressing against him, but I didn’t care.
“So…guess we’re not gettin’ that bounty after all?”
Wolf and I pulled apart, and both looked at Kai. Sable stood beside him, tears on his face, and Kai’s eyes were damp, but he was grinning at us.
“Don’t make me kill you,” Wolf warned, but when I glanced up, he was smiling, and his face was wet.
I noticed the dandelion discarded on the bed and snagged it, tucking it behind my ear like I used to when I was a kid. Wolf noticed and grinned at me.
“As if I haven’t heard that threat a million times,” Kai scoffed. “You gotta come up with some new ones, man.”
“I’ll work on it,” Wolf said dryly.
42
Ithought I struggled with nightmares before, but they paled in comparison to my nightmares now. I woke up screaming so often I didn’t know how I was going to move back into the clinic because no one would get any fucking sleep. I tried to avoid being alone as much as possible, but I knew that wasn’t sustainable. After about a week, I forced myself to ask for a little more space. Wolf and my crew had been taking turns sleeping on the cot in Nemo’s spare room with me, so I started with nights, figuring at least I would be asleep for most of it.
Instead, I just stopped sleeping.
