Page 241 of Fangs
“There’s no right or wrong answer, Em,” he added. “I genuinely want to know.”
“I don’t want to kill people.” The words tumbled out of my mouth. “I want to begood.”
I couldn’t read the emotion in his eyes, but he reached out and gently gripped my bandaged hand. “Emmy, I don’t think you murdered Dune.”
I stopped breathing, certain I’d heard him wrong.
“I don’t understand what happened, but I don’t think you murdered him.” He paused, pain and regret filling his eyes. “I’m sorry I thought you did for so long. I’m sorry for all the horrible things I said to you. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you or believe you.” His voice grew rougher. “You’re right. I promised to protect you, but I didn’t. I turned my back on you, and you suffered… suffered so fuckin’ much because of it.”
Emotion was pouring off him, and I feltnothing.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He frowned. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I don’t know why I do this.”
“Do what?” His brow drew together.
“Go numb.” I gestured vaguely to my face.
“Numb?”
“It’s like my emotions just… just shut off. I know it makes it seem like… like I don’t care, but I do. I really do. I promise.”
His eyes softened, but his shoulders sagged. When he spoke, his voice sounded thick with emotion. “It’s okay, Em.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “As you know, sometimes my words just…shut off. It’s like I get trapped in my head and can’t speak. Scar taught me sign language, which…gave me a voice when I lost mine, but sometimes I couldn’t even do that. It’s gotten a lot better, but I’ve been workin’ on it for years with my crew.”
For twelve years, I’d pictured Wolf as a terrifying, deadly force stalking me, trying to get close enough to sink his fangs into me and tear me apart. Now I tried to picture the real Wolf, eighteen years old, grieving his brother and being sent out into the desert to search for his sister—entirely alone and knowing that if he didn’t find me, he’d lost the only family he’d ever get to have. A fissure ran down the numb shell I was stuck inside.
“I’m glad you found them,” I whispered.
He smiled slightly. “I think it’s more they found me.”
A whistle echoed from the woods, and Wolf’s head snapped up. He whistled back, and then another whistle answered.
“They found a trail,” he said. “Lee’s comin’ to replace me.”
Lee.
My stomach didsomethingI couldn’t interpret.
“Don’t hold it against him,” Wolf said, and I glanced back at him. He was grimacing. “All of ’em chewed me out about leavin’ you tied up in the clinic, but I’ve never seen Lee this angry. He’s barely spoken to me since.”
I didn’t know what to do with that. Wolf got up and started grabbing his gear. Even though I was watching for him, it still startled me when Lee silently materialized from the woods. He met my eyes, and the intensity there made my heart pick up speed.
Wolf crouched in front of me, blocking my view of Lee. “I’ll be back,” he promised. “I’m gonna find him, Emmy.”
He smiled, and it was a smile I must have seen hundreds of times. It was the smile I got when he would give me a dandelion or when I would successfully land a hit in training. It was all Wolf, all my brother, and the words bubbled out of me, shaky with emotion.
“I don’t hate you.”
He went still, his eyes locked on mine.
“I’m sorry I said it,” I whispered. “I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.”
He gently took my face and kissed my forehead, and a bittersweet emotion cracked that fissure wider. When he pulled back, his eyes were wet.
“I’ve never hated you, either,” he said, his voice rough. “I wanted to sometimes but could never quite manage it.”
