Page 15 of A Wish Upon an Earl
“I apologized for yesterday.”He took her hand in his.“But I owe you an apology from before.You were attempting to share your feelings with me, and I was cruel and callous to you.”
To her complete shock and annoyance, tears misted her eyes.This was why she’d not wished to hear his apology.She’d have to acknowledge that his rejection still hurt.She glanced back down at her lap, not wanting him to see her tears.“It was years ago,” she answered automatically.But in her heart, she still ached.He’d crushed her girlish dreams.“I was young and foolish, and I must have irritated you terribly.”
“You were like family to me,” he said, lacing his fingers in hers.“And I loved you like a sister.I should have protected you.”
A sister…
She sighed.That was the heart of their trouble.She’d never thought of him as a brother.Her gaze flicked to his and then she looked away again.He was so handsome, and she…well…she was just Sarah.“If you considered me a sister then why allow them to make fun of me as you did?Walter Fullerton teased me for two full years.”
He squeezed her fingers.“Sarah, look at me.”
Slowly, she raised her gaze to his.
* * *
Walter Fullerton wasa horse’s rear.
That was Jack’s official opinion of the man.
But at the age of eighteen, he’d considered Walter far superior to his other friends.Even Ash.Walter had a swagger about him and a willingness to cut others in a way that made him more interesting.It had taken Jack a while to understand that Walter built himself up by pushing other people down.
He hated the reminder of Walter’s laughter, his remarks to Sarah.Why had Jack allowed it?
Now, looking into Sarah’s tear-rimmed eyes, he wished he could turn back the clocks and live that day over.
He’d have told Walter to take a swim in the Thames.And then he’d have gone after Sarah and…what?
Told her he was sorry for starters.
Begged forgiveness for his callousness.
And asked her to… He closed his eyes.He’d have asked her to put her feelings on hold.Wait until they were both older and wiser.
Because as he looked at her now, he realized several things.She was everything he’d ever wanted.Beautiful, kind, warm…and he’d pushed her away himself.
He looked into her moss-green eyes, which were now brimming with tears, and words crowded his mouth.Her pale skin had a brush of freckles just across her nose.He’d like to count them, kissing each one as he went.Because Drew, who didn’t know him at all, had been right.
He wished to court her.
Stupid man that he was, he hadn’t realized until he was in front of her that the reason he’d not been able to entertain another woman as a bride was because his affection had always been Sarah’s.
How had he not understood that until now?And why had he let the chasm between them grow so wide?
A single tear managed to spill over her eyelashes.He reached up and brushed it from her cheek.The pad of his thumb skimmed her velvet flesh, making his chest tight.
Rebecca cleared her throat.
Jack eased back.“It doesn’t excuse what I did, but I need you to know that my family didn’t love like yours.I didn’t understand?—”
He felt her tense, her hand clutching his tighter.“Your family didn’t love at all.”
“You remember?”He wanted to keep touching her, but he released her hand.The fact that she understood his past meant more than he could say.
“I remember,” she whispered.
He shook his head.“It was only after I hurt you that I realized how I’d erred.How I’d behaved like them.Their cruelty is so casual and yet often so deliberate.”He looked at her.“I know this is of no consolation to you, but that day taught me about the man I wanted to be.”
Her eyes widened as she tried to sit up straighter.“Really?”
