Page 28 of Charming the Accidental Suitor
He seemed to be looking right through her. Maybe he was seeing Ann, the woman he’d actually wished to marry. Or no…his wife. The woman he’d sworn his heart to.
The woman who’d have his heart forevermore.
She swallowed a thick lump. What would it be like to be loved like that? To know that even after you passed, you lived on in someone’s heart?
No, not just someone’s heart, this man’s heart. A man who was so kind and good and loyal and true.
And he believed she’d just made a mockery of that devotion.
The urge to cry came on so quickly, it shocked her. She didnotcry.
She shifted away from the tree, itching to run away. But she also did not run. Ever.
And yet here she was, on the verge of tears, and looking for a chance to flee.
She swallowed hard and shifted away once more. “I do apologize for making light of such a serious topic.” Her voice sounded stilted to her own ears, but she forced herself to continue. “Please, accept my apologies. And…” She held up the parchment that had been all but forgotten this past hour during their conversation. “And thank you for including me in your investigation.”
“Felicity,” he started, his voice a low rumble.
But she didn’t want to hear any lectures on the topic of marriage, and she couldn’t bear to hear him expound upon all the reasons he would not wish to marry her, in particular.
He did not love her, and he couldn’t imagine ever loving her. That much was clear.
She had to clear her throat to continue. “If you’ll excuse me, I should go. We came close to disaster just now and I should not wish to tempt fate by staying out here any longer.”
He made a move in her direction, but she turned and fled before he could stop her to say…what?
She didn’t know. She didn’t care. Anything he said now would only make her feel worse.
She slipped into the house and padded toward her room, navigating the dark hallways with ease.
It seemed to her in this moment that she was forever creeping about in the dark. Always spying on others or learning to go undetected so she might have her freedom.
Perhaps she’d missed her calling. A wry smile curved her lips as she headed up the stairs. She swiped away a tear as she hitched up her skirts and deftly avoided the creaking stairs that would give her away.
She’d always suspected she’d been born to the wrong family and the wrong life. A gently bred young lady? Ha! She’d never fit that role. And the wife of a handsome young gentleman was not for her either. Just look at Albright’s horrified reaction.
But wife to a surly old brute like Bargedale?
She stilled on the steps as her stomach dipped and weaved with dread.
No.She lifted her chin and continued her climb. That was not for her either.
She would find a way to avoid that fate. By the time she reached her chambers and slipped inside, resolve had filled thatempty space in her chest, and determination washed away the last of her tears.
She lay awake for hours as her thoughts spun and her mind readjusted to this new fact.
She would not marry Bargedale. No matter what she must do. No matter the consequences. She’d find another future, a different way forward, even if it meant she was disowned and an outcast.
But even as sleep finally claimed her, she had not settled on a plan.
How could she avoid such a fate?
And, most importantly, how could she find her freedom instead?
Dayslater she was no closer to a plan, though she had the overwhelming sense that it was coming together. Like a jigsaw puzzle scattered on the floor, all of the pieces were there just waiting to be fitted together.
Everson. His devious plans. Her great uncle who needed her protection from Everson—even if he did not know it.
