Page 51 of One Little Kiss
“And would that be…a good thing?” Addie asks.
“Yes.” I say it quickly, but it doesn’t feel right on my tongue.
“So you’d be cool with him hooking up with Jordan tonight, then.” Addie’s tone is way too mild. “After the dance, I mean.”
I go to speak, but I can’t breathe. There’s a fire in my lungs and in my veins. It’s hurt and it’s…betrayal, at the mere thought of him kissing some other girl tonight.
Of him being with anyone who isn’t me.
I fall onto the edge of my bed with a muffled curse. “I am so screwed.”
Addie sighs. “You are not. You and Elijah are so close…it’s normal for there to be some confusion about the friend zone, you know?”
I glance over at my phone, and I have this horrible, inexplicable urge to cry.
“Oh sweetie,” she says. “I wish I were there to give you a hug.”
I nod. “I wish you were too.”
“You’ll be with friends tonight,” Addie continues. “Talk to Mara and Celia and—”
“And ruin their nights?” I scoff. “I don’t think so. Besides, what’s there to say?”
Addie goes quiet and I feel like a jerk for being so ornery when she’s so sweet.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Maybe you should talk to him,” she says. “To Elijah, I mean.”
The thought of it makes my chest go tight and my lungs threaten to stop working altogether. “No. Nope. No way.”
“Why not?”
“Because…because I can’t lose him.” I hate how desperate I sound.
I despise how desperate I feel. Because I can’t deny the panic that sweeps over me at the thought of ruining my friendship with Elijah. I love all of my friends, but Elijah is my rock.
“Maybe you won’t lose him. Maybe it will make things better.”
I cast the phone a sidelong look. Man, Vince is so lucky he found her. I don’t know many people as optimistic and kindhearted as Addie, and I know she truly believes what she says.
But I don’t think she understands just how much I could mess this up.
I’m not like her. I’m not sweet and naive and trusting. I’m my mother’s daughter and I was raised to play games.
I wouldn’t know how to be me with Elijah if I was…well,withElijah.
And that’s the best case scenario. But the truth of the matter is, he doesn’t see me like that. Maybe he’d tried to kiss me once when he’d had some drinks and emotions were running high, but apparently he also kissed Jordan that night too, so clearly it hadn’t meant anything.
And yeah, for some reason I don’t want to explain, that hurts. It cuts like a knife, if I’m being honest. But it’s the wake up call I need.
I exhale sharply and give my head a little shake as I toss aside the more comfortable black shoes in favor of the wicked red stilettos.
Maybe that’s my answer. We’re always clear on where we stand with each other when we’re hooking up with other people. And maybe that’s all I need to get us back on track.
I take a deep breath and come to stand, sliding my feet into the sexy-as-sin heels, and finally feeling like I’m standing on firmer ground. “Thanks for listening, Addie.”
“I wish I could be more of a help,” she murmurs.
