Page 17 of One Little Kiss
“What are you thinking about?” Elijah asks.
He’s on the swing beside mine but he’s kinda just pushing himself back and forth, not actually swinging.
I shake my head. “Nothing interesting.”
“Come on…” he prompts, his tone wheedling.
But I don’t want to talk. Mainly because a lot of this weirdness I’m feeling has to do with him. With us. And I don’t know how to explain it.
So instead, I tip my head back, adopt the most absurd Eastern European accent I can manage, and shout at the top of my lungs in a too-low voice, “Lisa, you’re tearing me apaaart!”
It’s a quote fromThe Room, the worst movie ever made, and it never ever fails to make Elijah laugh.
Sure enough, I hear that low rumble of his chuckle and I keep my eyes shut as I grin. I don’t have to look to know what smile he’s wearing. It’s always the same one when we share inside jokes. It’s that crooked smile that at some point I decided was meant just for me.
I shake my head. That train of thought is not helping matters.
“You ready for the game this weekend?” I ask.
He shrugs and then shoots back, “You ready for the victory dance when we win?”
I wince.
He chuckles again. “Look at us, embracing the best years of our lives.”
I pretend to gag, and he grins over at me.
It’s another inside joke, how much we both despise when people say that our high school years are the best times of our lives.
Is there anything more tragic than believing you’ve peaked at seventeen?
For me, the reason it makes me outright nauseous is because…part of me worries it might be true. Not that I’ll ever admit that to anyone aloud.
But my grades aren’t going to get me into some amazing college, and I have no big career ambitions, plus my mom is always quick to point out how fast my looks will fade.
She’s one of those people who’s been turning twenty-nine for the last nine years straight. Aging gracefully is not in her vocabulary.
So yeah, I guess sometimes I can’t help but wonder if my parents are right. Maybe this is as smart as I’ll ever be. As popular as I’ll ever be. Maybe this is as good as it gets.
And maybe…maybe my friends pairing up and moving away is just the beginning.
My friends and everyone in our class will literally be moving on next year. Without me.
I look over at Elijah and my chest aches. He’ll move on. One day he’ll have a girlfriend and our inside jokes will fade away—they’ll have to. Because what girlfriend wants to share her boyfriend with another girl?
I wouldn’t want to. Heck, I got jealous at the thought of sharing him with Sadie. Which is just…
I stub my toe into the earth to slow my momentum, my stomach churning with guilt and regret.
I acted like an idiot.
I don’t even want to think about what happened in the parking lot. But part of me feels like I should apologize. Like I should explain…
And say what?
I swallow hard and look away from him instead. I don’t know how to explain what happened. One second I was annoyed at this whole scavenger hunt thing, and his insinuation that I don’t deserve to win.
I know that’s why he added these individual events, and I can’t even explain why it makes me feel like screaming every time the topic of the scavenger hunt comes up.
