Page 72 of One Little Kiss
I look over to see her and Celia to my right while Heath’s come up behind the couch.
Wonderful. Awesome. Now our school’s two perfect couples can hear how badly I botched things.
Leah’s on the other side of the room hanging out with Ben and some of his nerdy bros but she looks my way with a sympathetic smile. She can’t possibly hear what we’re talking about, but I’m sure she knows.
I can practically feel her urging me to open up about it. To share my freakin’ feelings.
With a sigh, I spill the story, all about how I kissed Noelle, how I took her out….how I totally trashed the best friendship I’ve ever had.
“But you guys are so good together,” Celia says when I finish, her brow furrowed.
“I can't believe she didn’t tell us,” Mara mutters.I feel a pang of guilt until Mara adds, “But I’m glad you did. Now we can be there for her whether she likes it or not.”
At Mara’s look of determination, I almost feel sorry for Noelle. But also…I’m glad. No, I’m relieved that Noelle will have a friend to talk to.
I know she’s suffering just as much as I am with all this and I also know Noelle would be the last person to ask for help dealing.
She’s got more pride than anyone I know. She’d rather eat glass than admit that maybe she needs help to pass tests. So yeah, maybe it’s for the best that I’m all but siccing Mara on her.
I don’t know where she is tonight, but I hate that she’s not here. It feels wrong.
I miss her.
I freakin’ miss my best friend. And I’m so furious with myself for ruining things between us I can’t take it any longer.
“I wish I could turn back time,” I groan, rubbing my eyes which are gritty from lack of sleep.
“You couldn’t have avoided it forever,” Mara says, patting my knee. “It’s obvious to anyone with eyes and ears that you guys have feelings for each other.”
“Yeah,” I mumble, my tone turning sharp and bitter once more. “Friend feelings. Platonic feelings.”
Heath surprises me with a muffled laugh. Celia looks apologetic as she starts to crack up too. Ryan and Mara don’t try to hide their amusement.
“What’s so funny?”
Leah’s joining us and she shakes her head at me like I’m so adorably dumb she doesn’t know what to do with me. “You guys like each other, Eli. It’s what I’ve been telling you all along.”
Their amusement makes me stiffen. I’m not nearly as prideful as Noelle, but this is so not the time to be laughing at me. “Yeah, well, try telling that to Noelle,” I finally sputter.
As far as comebacks go, it’s a lame one. Particularly because a little part of me means it. I wish like hell that Mara or Celia would stage an intervention with Noelle instead of me. I’d kill to have one of them inform her that she likes me as more than just a friend.
But they can’t force her to like me, just like I couldn’t make her see me as a date rather than her buddy.
My head falls back with a groan. “I messed up, you guys.”
They all stop laughing at that.
“You didn’t,” Celia insists. “You told her how you feel and that’s amazing.”
I stare up at the ceiling, her words niggling and putting me on edge.
Did I, though? Did I tell her how I feel?
I tried to show her, but… Is that the same thing?
Or did I halfass it to avoid the sting of the inevitable rejection?
Ugh. This train of thought is not helping.
